The Hall of Shame: Most Horrible Jokes
Woman calls the police: “Is it the police I'm with.”
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Police
officer: “If you are with the police why would you call here?”
A man sees a shooting star.
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“Oh, how nice! I can make a wish! I want a woman who knows what she
wants!”
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The shooting star pauses briefly, then turns around.
Do you know what were my grandpa’s last words before
he kicked the bucket?
How far do you think I can kick this bucket here?
Why is the butt divided vertically and not
horizontally?
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Answer: It would keep clapping if you ran down the stairs. Ok,
now stop imagining it.
Why is it a bad idea to play poker with a jungle cat?
Chances are it is a cheetah.
What are the last words of a highly poisonous snake?
"Drat, I bit myself on the tongue!"
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Puns section!
One friend to another:
Why are you giving me an apricot?
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I heard there’s no way you can get a date.
At a psychologist:
Man: “I'm in love with my
horse.”
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Psychologist: “Is it a male horse?”
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Man: “What
the… No! Of course not! That would be disgusting!”
Two undies meet, one
says to the other, "Hey, have you been on holiday? You got so brown!"
Patient: "How long do I
have to live?"
-
Doctor: "Hm, how could I break it to you? Well,
I wouldn't buy a ticket to the cinema anymore."
Check out our Anti-Jokes
“My
wife loves cats. But she’s got 40 of them and they cause a gruesome
smell in our flat.”
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“I guess you should air more often to
battle that.”
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“No can do, if we opened the windows, my 150
pigeons would fly away”
Cliffhanger endings are incredibly frustrating. They
just
I started an affair with a blind woman. It took me a
while before I could imitate her husbands voice.
My friend was planning to get a Labrador. Is he mad?!
Hasn’t he seen how many of their owners go blind?!”
Being a 24-year-old virgin sucked, I’m glad nobody can say that about me
anymore.
-
I’m 25 now.
Two gangsters are about to break out of prison. The first one jumps
off a wall into a trash container.
The guard shouts, "Who’s
there?"
Gangster replies, "MEOOOOOOW!"
The guard is
relieved, "Ah ok, just a cat."
Then the second gangster jumps.
The guard gets suspicious, "Hello, anybody there?"
The
second gangster yells, "Nah, just the cat again!"
A horse goes into a bar.
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Barkeeper: "Why such a long face?"
Where do we get virgin wool from?
Ugly sheep.
Next:
Bad Jokes
Part 2 (Weirdly Funny)Part 1 |
Part 2 |
Part 3 |
Part 4 |
Part 5 |
Part 6 Part 7 |
Part 8 |
Part 9 |
Part 10
