Bad Jokes | Part 4 (Short One-Liners)

Guaranteed to Make You Say "Ugh" or "Aahh" at Least Once: Short, Bad Jokes

 Have you been picking your nose again?!
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Why would I?! - I’ve had it since I was born!

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I was down to my last 100 dollars. I really didn’t know what to do. So I asked myself the key question. What would Jesus do? And then I went and turned it into wine.

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Toilet jokes? Nah, not my number one jokes, really.

But a good, solid number two!

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What would happen if you threw blue sneakers into the Red Sea?
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They would get wet.

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A Chinese student is looking for an inexpensive room to rent. He finds one, but the owner warns him, “Yes, you can have the room. But we have a dog and two cats. I hope you like them.”
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“No problem,” beams the student, “I’m happy to eat anything!”

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Waiter, I am outraged. There is a hair in my soup.
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And what do you expect for this price? A whole wig?!

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Feeling amused? Explore our Puns section!

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A moth visits a doctor, “Doctor please help me… I cut myself very badly 2 hours ago.”
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The doctor takes a look and says, “Goodness me, that looks bad! Why didn’t you come earlier?”

The moth says, “I waited for the lights to turn on in your office …”

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Why does it suck to be a penguin?
 
Because even when you get angry, you still look cute.

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What has four legs, one foot and one head?
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A bed.

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“Our cat was stupid enough to drink some gasoline yesterday. She spent two hours racing through the flat, then just flopped on her back and was totally still. “
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“Oh no, is she dead?”
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“No, just ran out of gas”

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At work:

Excuse me, may I disturb you shortly?
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Of course, what is it?
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Nothing, I just wanted to disturb you.

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Online question:

What's the best way to solve my money problems?
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Answer:
Wrap yourself in a blanket and lay yourself on the porch of a millionaire family.

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Next: Bad Jokes Part 5 (Terrible Humor)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6  Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10