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120+ Funny Chuck Norris Jokes, Facts and One-Liners

The best first: Chuck Norris doesn’t need toilet paper. He uses wolves.
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Funny Chuck Norris Jokes

Best Chuck Norris Jokes, Facts and Sayings!

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Recently, a police patrol stopped Chuck Norris when he was driving along. They got off with only a warning.
Chuck Norris's daughter lost her virginity. He got it back the next day.
Chuck Norris doesn't pet any animals. Animals pet themselves when he approaches them.
Chuck Norris to Darth Vader: “I am your father, Darth.”
Chuck Norris threw a hand grenade and killed 50 people.

Then the grenade exploded.

Chuck Norris had a court appointment. But the judge didn't dare to show up.
Chuck Norris can spread crunchy peanut butter on a slice of soft toast bread.
When Chuck Norris enters the room, even the chairs are standing up.
Chuck Norris was here
Chuck Norris seasons his steaks with pepper spray.
Chuck Norris and God had a fist fight once.

Have you ever seen God?
  Chuck Norris' computer has no Backspace button. Chuck Norris makes no mistakes.
Chuck Norris actually solves problems with the Windows Troubleshooter.
Chuck Norris funny
Chuck Norris is still getting updates for Windows XP.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at a Burger King. He got it without a single remark.
Chuck Norris doesn't ever call the wrong number. The person just answers the wrong phone.
Chuck Norris doesn’t fly in an airplane. The airplane flies around him.
Chuck Norris has a Grizzly bear rug. The bear is alive, but it's too scared to move.
Chuck Norris once had an arm-wrestling competition with Superman. The bet was that the loser has to then wear his underwear on top of his trousers.
Chuck Norris joke
Crop circles aren’t alien creations. They are places where Chuck Norris has been practicing his roundhouse kicks.
Chuck Norris has his own joke category.
Chuck Norris is so manly, even his chest hair has chest hair.
When Chuck Norris walks across the meadow, he doesn’t smell the flowers. The flowers smell him.
Fun fact
Chuck Norris hasn't filled his gas tank in decades. His car drives on respect.
Chuck is able to slam a revolving door.
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