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Funny Chuck Norris Jokes

May 25, 2015 / Last updated: February 11, 2020

 Author Katerina Janikby
The best first: Chuck Norris once told his grandma that he wants three dumplings – AND HE ONLY GOT THREE DUMPLINGS!
 Chuck Norris Jokes

The Best of Chuck Norris Jokes, Facts and Sayings!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | New

 Chuck Norris' computer has no Backspace button. Chuck Norris makes no mistakes.
Chuck Norris doesn't pet any animals. Animals pet themselves when he approaches them.

Chuck Norris threw a hand grenade and killed 50 people.

Then the grenade exploded.
When Chuck Norris enters the room, even the chairs are standing up.
Chuck Norris was here
Chuck Norris doesn't need to flush the toilet. He simply goes "Boo!" and anything in the bowl promptly rushes away.

Chuck Norris and God had a fist fight once.
Have you ever seen God?
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at a Burger King. He got it without a single remark.
Chuck Norris doesn't ever call the wrong number. You just answer the wrong phone.
Recently, a police patrol stopped Chuck Norris when he was driving along. They got off with only a warning.
Chuck Norris tried to lose weight. But Chuck Norris NEVER loses.
Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are made of real cowboys!

Chuck Norris Jokes
Chuck Norris got lost in a forest once. Nobody’s seen that forest since.
Chuck Norris once had an arm-wrestling competition with Superman. The bet was that the loser has to then wear his underwear on top of his trousers.
Crop circles aren’t alien creations. They are places where Chuck Norris has been practicing his roundhouse kicks.
When Chuck Norris walks across the meadow, he doesn’t smell the flowers. The flowers smell him.
Chuck is able to slam a revolving door.
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of the best Chuck Norris jokes

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

See also: New jokes


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