Bad Jokes (Part 10) - Cheesy

Best first: Tom and Paula are having their first date at a café:

Tom: What’s your profession?

Paula: I’m a waitress, and you?

Tom: I imitate birds for a living.

Paula (suppresses a smile): I’m sorry Tom, but that has to be the most ridiculous job I’ve ever heard of.

Tom is offended. He walks out the door, spreads out his arms and flies away.
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 Cheesy Jokes / Deliciously Funny

Two neighbors meet:
"Your cat killed my Pitbull."
"No way, that is impossible."
"Yes, he choked on the cat."
How many cats can squeeze into a regular sized empty box?

Just one. After that the box isn’t empty anymore.
Nurse Joke
I went to a really interesting lecture on kleptomania.
I took a lot from it.
“Waiter, does that delightfully loud band of yours play at the guests’ requests?”

“Of course sir, what would you like them to play?”

“Billiards. At least until I’ve had the chance to finish my dinner in peace.”
“So, you’re saying I wouldn’t move a finger for you, darling?” said the husband and pulled the trigger.“
Wives are strange creatures. Mine sometimes waits up for me till I come home at 3 am to ask me whether I know what time it is.

“Excuse me sir, could you please close that window? It’s terribly cold outside.”

“And you seriously think it’s going to get any warmer outside when I close it?!”
What does the lightbulb say when it’s being unscrewed?

I’m feeling delighted…
How do you pick up a girl at a bar?
Just smash some ice cubes in front of her and say, “Now that the ice between us is broken, what would you like to drink?”
Bad Jokes

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6  Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10

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