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Anti Jokes

Best first: Two tomatoes are walking across a street. One of them gets run over by a truck.
The first tomato looks at the gruesome scene and says: “Well, life’s not a petting zoo.”
February 19, 2020 / Last updated: May 26, 2020

 Author Michael Janikby

Anti Jokes

The Best Anti Jokes

   Part 1 | Part 2
What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk.
How do you tell you’ve had two dinosaurs in the fridge?

There are footprints in the butter.

One mountain asks another: “What’s wrong with you? Are you high?!”
Two milk cartons are sitting on a roof. Suddenly one milk carton throws the other down and says, “That’s what you get.” 
Do unzipped files get embarrassed?
How many peas go in a pot?
 None. Peas can’t walk.
At a farmer’s market stall:

Customer: Excuse me, is this tomato genetically modified?

Seller: Why do you want to know?

Tomato: Yeah, why do you want to know?
What is black, red, and golden and flies through the air?
A lady bug with a golden tooth.  
Two bunnies are sitting on a roof.

One bunny suggests, “Shall I throw you down?”

The second bunny replies, “Nope.”

Anti Joke - Bunnies on a roof

Where do cows like to go?
In a mooooseum.
“I’m touched,” said the dough and looked at me.
Two fish meet. One says: “Blubb”.
A ball rolls around a corner and says, “Damn, I missed my bus.”  

Why is the elephant wearing yellow socks?
Because his blue ones are still in the laundry basket.
And why is he swimming on his back?
So his yellow ones wouldn’t get wet.  
Two sheep are sitting in a rubber boat in the middle of the ocean. A nothing floats along and passes by the boat.

One sheep remarks, “Did you see that?”

The other one says, “No…”

First sheep agrees, “Me neither.”
 How many elephants fit into a submarine?
Twelve, because the doorbell is on the left side.
A man goes with his daughter in a forest. “Look a mushroom!” points the dad.
The mushroom turns around and says, “So what?!”
Two walls meet at the corner.  
 Next Part 2
Best Anti Jokes

Part 1 | Part 2

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