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Black Humor / Dark Jokes

Best first: What is black and is stuck to a ceiling? A not very good electrician.
    
 Black Humor - Sarcasm

The Best of Black Humor / Dark Jokes

 
Evil, mean, morbid and sarcastic jokes, quite tasteless and lacking class. Enjoy!


I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace. 

What do you give an armless child for Christmas?

Nothing, he wouldn’t be able to open it anyways.
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time they make a group photo.
You can’t say that Hitler was bad through and through. He did kill Hitler, after all.
Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, for instance when you push them down the stairs.
A priests asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?”
-
"Yes," replies the murderer. "Can you please hold my hand?"
Wow, honey, I never thought our son would go that far!
 -
Yeah, the catapult is really amazing. Go get our daughter!

Tombstone engraving: I TOLD you I was sick!
“You da bomb!”

“No, you da bomb!”

In America – a compliment. In the Middle East – an argument.
Oh daddy, I love you so much!
-
Hey, until we get the DNA test, I’m just Harry to you!
At a first date:

He: “I work with animals every day!”

She: “Oh how sweet! What is it that you do?”

He: “I’m a butcher.”
How can you tell your acne is really starting to get out of hand?
 
The blind start reading your face.
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Best Black Humor Jokes

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | New Dark Humor Jokes

See also: New jokes



 
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