Little Johnny once bought his Grandma a very nice, luxurious toilet
brush for her birthday. But when he went to visit her a couple of
weeks later, it wasn't in the bathroom.
Little Johnny asked
his Grandma, “Gran, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you?”
“Darling, I'm sorry but I just didn’t like it. It was too
scratchy. After all those years, I’ve gotten used to the toilet
Birthday card inscription: Recent research revealed that 4 out of 5 people
can expect money in their birthday cards. Happy Birthday, number 5!
Boyfriend: How come you didn’t get me a present for my birthday?!
Girlfriend: Well, you did tell me to surprise you.
Honey what do you wish for your birthday?
I want a divorce.
Sorry, I wasn’t intending to spend that much.
When I was little, we were so poor the only thing I got on my
birthday was one year older.
From a certain age, birthdays are like a reverse countdown.
Patient: Doctor, I get a strong stinging feeling in my eyes every time I eat
a birthday cake."
Doctor: Next time, blow out the candles.
Pamela says on her 16th birthday: Daddy, don’t you think I’m old enough to
get my drivers’ licence?
Father replies: You – yes. Our car – no.Honey, you really don’t have to do the dishes on your birthday. Do it
Short on cash and somebody’s birthdays are coming up? Draw an eye on
a ladies’ sanitary pad. Voilá, you can give them an iPad now.
Your upcoming birthday reminds me of the words of the old Chinese scholar:
Yung No Mo
Thank you, grandpa. The violin you gave me for my last birthday already
brought me a lot of money.
Grandpa: Really? You play so well?
Little Johnny: Not at
all. But mom and dad give me money to stop playing.
Birthday Jokes and Birthday Wishes