Birthday Jokes and Wishes

The best first: Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.
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Birthday Jokes
Very Funny Birthday Jokes, Wishes and Sayings

Honey what do you wish for your birthday?
I want a divorce.
Sorry, I wasn’t intending to spend that much.
Little Johnny once bought his Grandma a very nice, luxurious toilet brush for her birthday. But when he went to visit her a couple of weeks later, it wasn't in the bathroom.

Little Johnny asked his Grandma, “Gran, what happened to the toilet brush I gave you?”

“Darling, I'm sorry but I just didn’t like it. It was too scratchy. After all those years, I’ve gotten used to the toilet paper.”
Birthday card inscription: Recent research revealed that 4 out of 5 people can expect money in their birthday cards. Happy Birthday, number 5!

Boyfriend: How come you didn’t get me a present for my birthday?!
Girlfriend: Well, you did tell me to surprise you.
One cow to another:
“Why are you shaking so much? Are you cold?”
“No, I have a birthday tomorrow. And I'm preparing the whipped cream for the birthday cake.”
When I was little, we were so poor the only thing I got on my birthday was one year older.
From a certain age, birthdays are like a reverse countdown.
Patient: Doctor, I get a strong stinging feeling in my eyes every time I eat a birthday cake."
Doctor: Next time, blow out the candles.
Funny Birthday Joke

Pamela says on her 16th birthday: Daddy, don’t you think I’m old enough to get my drivers’ licence?
Father replies: You – yes. Our car – no.Honey, you really don’t have to do the dishes on your birthday. Do it tomorrow.

Short on cash and somebody’s birthdays are coming up? Draw an eye on a ladies’ sanitary pad. Voilá, you can give them an iPad now.

Your upcoming birthday reminds me of the words of the old Chinese scholar: Yung No Mo
Little Johnny: Thank you, grandpa. The violin you gave me for my last birthday already brought me a lot of money.
Grandpa: Really? You play so well?
Little Johnny: Not at all. But mom and dad give me money to stop playing.

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Birthday Jokes and Birthday Wishes

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