Cool and Funny Sayings
Amusing sayings, humorous quotes, funny proverbs, phrases, slogans, smart
remarks for any occasion, witty wisdoms for fun and reflection.
My neighbors are listening to great music. Whether they like it or not.
It is important to make breaks between individual exercises. I personally
stick to breaks of about 3-4 years.
I don’t hate.
Once I started to read between the lines, I realized that all books were
really the same.
Are you unhappy? Are you alone? Fear not,
the light is always on for you in the fridge.
Sometimes I drink water - just to surprise my liver.
I think your parents shouldn't have built the swing
that close to the wall.
How to part in style after having a row with your friend:
your pillow is warm on both sides in the summer!”
"If I wanted to commit suicide, I would climb up to the height of your ego
and jump down to your IQ level."
It's amazing how nice people are to you
when they know you're going away.
First rule of Sundays:
If you can’t reach it from your couch, you don’t
The last thing I want to do is to hurt you.
But we’ll get there eventually, once I’ve gone through the entire list.
According to my mirror I am pregnant. The father is Nutella.
... and out of the chaos, a sentence came to me:
"Laugh and be happy,
it could be worse!"
... and so I laughed and was happy and it really
If you had to decide between a diet and a
piece of chocolate, would you prefer dark, white or milk chocolate?
Organized people are simply too lazy to search for stuff.
Every time a bird craps on my car, I go out on my terrace and eat some
scrambled eggs. Just to show them who’s the boss.
You may have one but that doesn't mean you have to act
Need something cool to say because you just slipped and fell?
gravity still works!”
I read married couples do it about 74 times per year. It’s end of November
now. Seems I’m going to have a seriously exciting December!
My relationship is like an iPad.
I don't have an iPad.
Somebody said today that I'm lazy. I nearly
I’m on a
strict seafood diet.
I see food, I eat it.
I never do the same
I do it six or seven times, just to be sure.
What not to say when you get pulled over:
Police officer: Papers.
Any of us has
the capacity to light up a room. Some when they enter, others when they
Always end up phone calls like this: I have to run, the swing
is free now.
There are people who are a living proof that total brain failure does not
always lead to physical death.
When somebody doesn’t
I’m sorry, I have neither the patience, nor the coloring
crayons to explain this to you.
I was sexually harassed at work by my boss. But I don’t really mind. I’m
Finally, the spring is here! I'm so thrilled I wet my plants.
If you’re having a bad day, remember some adults wear braces.
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