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Smart Jokes

The best first: ′′Burn the wizard!"

′′ Hey, I'm the IT guy..."

′′ Format him!"
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Smart Jokes

Smart Jokes and Sayings.

 Smarts are so good, nobody could disprove it since the Big Bang Theory. So be ye an IT smart, a linguist smart, a smart fellow, a general know-it-all or simply enjoy a bit of a mental stretch in your jokes, welcome! We've got you covered.
Romantic relationships can actually be represented in algebra. You for example, have definitely at some point looked at your X and asked yourself Y.

I went on a date with a chess player to an Italian restaurant  with checkered table cloths. It took him maybe half an hour to pass the salt.
Boss: “I can clearly smell alcohol on somebody’s breath!”
One of the staff: “Um, boss, this is a video conference.”

A jellyfish has existed as a species for 500 million years, surviving just fine without a brain. That gives hope to quite a few people.
What should I put on my tofu burger?
A curse!
Why are astronauts always so calm and efficient?
Zero pressure in vacuum.
Time is money. Therefore, ATMs are time machines.
How Long is a Chinese name.

 Beethoven: So what up, guys? Are you ready for some serious symphonies?
Excited crowd: YEEEAAAAHHHHH!!
Beethoven: I can’t hear you!!!
Mother: “Oh my Lord, your room is such a mess! Why are there so many things on the floor?”
Son: “Come on mom, duh. Gravity, of course!”
Which US state has rounded ends and is high in the middle?
God is dead. (Friedrich Nietzsche, 1882)

Nietzsche is dead. (God, 1900)
I’ve been a naughty girl… I think I deserve punishment…” she said suggestively, biting her lip.

“As you say,” said he and installed Windows Vista on her laptop.
How do you like your eggs in the morning?
A woman is like an open book.

On advanced string theory. In Farsi. Printed in Braille. But yeah, it’s open.
Knock, knock.

Who’s there?

A dermatovenerologist.

Dermatovenerologist who?

You might want to take this talk somewhere a bit more private.
A distrainor rings the doorbell.

A voice comes from behind the door, “We’re not home.”

Distrainor: “Correct, not anymore you aren’t.”
“I just don’t understand how somebody could guess my PIN number!”

“What was your PIN?”

The date the emperor Aizong of the Jin dynasty committed suicide, bringing about the end of the Jin Dynasty.”

“Wow, that sounds obscure enough, when was that?”

“In 1234.”
Proper spelling and grammar is very important and for instance a coma can totally change the meaning of a statement.

Here’s an example:
"Travis is in a rush."
"Travis is in a coma."
A chemist walks into a pharmacy and says, “Do you have acetylsalicylic acid, please?”

“You mean aspirin?” wonders the pharmacist.

“Ah yeah, aspirin, I can never remember that name!”
Three little pigs are sitting huddled in their little house, shivering with fear.

After much huffing and puffing, the door finally gives in and smashes and in walks the wolf.

“Shalom,” he greets the three little pigs.

“Oooof…,” sigh the three little pigs in relief.
An accused cannibal is trying to defend himself at court: “Your Honor, if it really is as they say, You are what you eat, then I must insist I am a perfectly innocent victim here!”
Two blind people are walking, one of them with a twenty-meter white cane and nudges the other, “So, I got myself this really sweet binoculars!”
Tomato is a fruit, right? Does that make ketchup a smoothie?

Continue reading these awesome smart jokes:

Smart Jokes - Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

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