Cute Jokes

 

Those are sooooo cute!


What would you call the child of a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.

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When can you be sure a snail is lying to you?
 
When he says he’s not home.

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How did the bunny rob a snowman?

He took out his hair dryer and said: Give me that carrot!

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What is black – white – black – white – black – white?

A penguin rolling down a mountain!

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A very panicky Emma bursts into her brother’s bedroom and shakes him awake, “Jeremy, come quick, there’s a mouse squeaking under my bed!!!!”

Jeremy yawns, “and what the heck should I do? Oil it?!”

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Why did the bee marry?
 
He’s finally found his honey.

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“Name me five different animals, Johnny.”
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“The dog, the dog’s brother, the dog’s sister, the dog’s cousin and the dog’s aunt.”

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It is evening. Little Johnny and his friend are sitting by a camp fire.

 They’ve been plagued by swarms of mosquitoes already for an hour and the assault only worsens when the darkness sets in.

 Suddenly, fireflies appear. Little Johnny swears: “These darn mosquitoes! Now they’ve even brought lanterns with them to find us!“

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“Dad, I got my smarts from you, didn’t I?”
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“That’s right my clever boy!”
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“Yup, thought so, mom still has hers.”

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What would you get if you crossed a vampire with a dwarf?

A creature that sucks blood from your knees.

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“Sir, you cannot fish here!”

“Don’t worry, I’m not fishing, I’m just teaching my worm to swim.”

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Daddy, why is the sky so high?

So the birds wouldn’t hit their heads all the time, darling.    

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Why do dolphins swim in salt water?
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Because pepper water would make them sneeze.

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A little boy visits his farmer grandpa and watches him milk the cows.

The next day one of the cows runs away and grandpa is really upset about it.

“Don’t worry, Grandpa,” says the boy helpfully, “she can’t have gone very far with an empty tank.”

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Mommy says to little Johnny, “Why are you sticking out your tongue at the dog? It’s not nice.”
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Little Johnny says, “But the dog started it.”

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A little boy stands in front of a house and cries. A guy sees him and asks, “Why all the crying, little guy?”
 
“I can’t reach the doorbell.”
 
The man rings the bell for him and smiles at the boy.

The boy smiles back at him and says, “Great, and now we just have to run away very quickly!”

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What did the stamp say to the envelope?
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You stick with me and I will take you places!

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Why did the shark keep swimming in circles?

It had a nosebleed.

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“Your waffle iron isn’t working, dear!”
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“Please just stay away from my laptop grandma!!!”

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Why did the boy peek down the toilet bowl?
 
He was trying to find Winnie the Pooh.

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Daughter asks her mother, “Mum, how long have you been married to dad?”
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“Ten years.”
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“Oh, and how many do you still have left?”

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Cute Jokes

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See also: Kids Jokes