He took out his hair dryer and
said: Give me that carrot!
What do you call a nut that sneezes? - A cashew.
A very panicky Emma bursts into her brother’s bedroom and shakes him awake,
“Jeremy, come quick, there’s a mouse squeaking under my bed!!!!”
Jeremy yawns, “and what the heck should I do? Oil it?!”
Why did the bee marry?
He’s finally found his honey.
“Name me five different animals, Johnny.”
“The dog, the dog’s
brother, the dog’s sister, the dog’s cousin and the dog’s aunt.”
It is evening. Little Johnny
and his friend are sitting by a camp fire.
They’ve been plagued by
swarms of mosquitoes already for an hour and the assault only worsens when
the darkness sets in.
Suddenly, fireflies appear. Little Johnny
swears: “These darn mosquitoes! Now they’ve even brought lanterns with them
to find us!“
When can you be sure a snail is lying to you?
When he says he’s
“Dad, I got my smarts from you, didn’t I?” - “That’s right my
clever boy!” - “Yup, thought so, mom still has hers.”
What is black – white – black – white – black – white?
rolling down a mountain!
What would you get if you crossed a vampire with a dwarf?
creature that sucks blood from your knees.
“Sir, you cannot fish here!”
“Don’t worry, I’m not fishing, I’m just
teaching my worm to swim.”
Daddy, why is the sky so high?
So the birds wouldn’t hit their
heads all the time, darling. Why do dolphins swim in salt water? - Because pepper water would make
A little boy visits his farmer grandpa and watches him milk the cows.
The next day one of the cows runs away and grandpa is really upset about
“Don’t worry, Grandpa,” says the boy helpfully, “she can’t have
gone very far with an empty tank.”
Mommy says to little Johnny, “Why are you sticking out your tongue at
the dog? It’s not nice.” - Little Johnny says, “But the dog
What did the stamp say to the envelope? - You stick with me and I
will take you places!
Why did the shark keep swimming in circles?
It had a nosebleed.
What happens when a cop gets into bed?
He becomes an undercover
“Your waffle iron isn’t working, dear!” – “Please just stay away
from my laptop grandma!!!”
Why did the boy peek down the toilet bowl?
He was trying to
find Winnie the Pooh.
Daughter asks her mother, “Mum, how long have you been married to dad?”
“Ten years.” - “Oh, and how many do you still have left?”Next Part