Sometimes those dad jokes get so terrible, corny, bad, dumb and cheesy that you
can't but laugh! Part 1 |
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New Dad Jokes
Do you know what makes me smile? - My facial muscles.
What is the worst combination of two sicknesses? - Diarrhea and
Alzheimer. You’re running, but you don’t know where.
What is hairy, brown, and goes up and down? - A kiwi in an elevator.
Little Petra asks her dad at breakfast time, “Daddy, can you please
teach me how to make eggs?”
Dad shakes his head, “Nope.”
“But why daddy? I want to learn!“
The dad winks at her, “I can’t
teach you how to make eggs because I’m not a hen.”
Daddy what's a transvestite? - Ask Mommy, he knows.
Me, “Forgive me, but I'm really pissed off now!”
Wow, my pen can write hands-free! Isn’t that incredible??? It can write
all sorts of other words, too!!!
Q: Is Google a he or a she?
A: A she, no doubt, because it won‘t
let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas.
Today I went to a barber’s shop for a shave. The barber asked me to put
a small wooden ball in my mouth so he could get a closer shave around my
I asked: “But what if I swallow the ball?”
replied: “No problem sir, you just bring it back tomorrow like everybody
Reporter interviews a man: “Sir, you’ve lived next to this highway for
20 years, do you feel that it has somehow influenced you?” - The
man: “NOOooooo, NOOoooo, NOOooo…”
What is cold and stands under a street lamp? - A frostitute.
Two hot dogs are walking down the street. - One suddenly turns to the
other and says, “Mike! Your wiener is showing!“
Problems sleeping? Cut the legs of your bed. You'll sleep deeper.
What does a house wear?
Address (a dress).
Which bus never drove on any street?
What is blue and lies under a mushroom? - Smurf poop.
What type of candy is always late?
Which table fits in the fridge?
What do you call an American Bee?
What fish is the best fighter? - The swordfish.
What is 5q + 5q?
I lost some weight last month. But now it found me again.
Would you like to hear a construction joke?
Well I’m still working on it.
Do you know why I
can’t be buried in a cemetery?”
“Because I’m still
I have a very secure job. There’s nobody else who would want it.
Do you know what’s up? - The ceiling.
Do you feel cold?