Funny Idioms

The best first: We have a pig. (We’re lucky.)
German: Wir haben Schwein.
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Funny Idioms

Odd sayings which mean something totally different than the words themselves would suggest.

We use them every day and never even think twice that taken literally, they’re actually quite bizarre.

Have you ever thought about the phrase to chew the fat, for instance? Probably not something you’d like to do if it were a real bit of nice, raw lard, right?

The funny weirdness is much more obvious when you look at phrases from another language. So we’ve put together for you some gems from German, French, Czech and Polish, enjoy:

Everything has an end, only the sausage has two. (All things come to an end.)
Alles hat ein Ende, nur die Wurst hat zwei.

Now we’re playing for the sausage. (It’s all or nothing now.)
Jetzt geht’s um die Wurst.
That makes the dog in the pan crazy. (That’s unbelievable!)
Da wird der Hund in der Pfanne verrückt.
You’re extending a special sausage now. (Now you’re demanding special treatment.)
Jetzt verlangst du ein Extrawurst.
She has tomatoes on her eyes. (She doesn’t see what’s right in front of her.)
Sie hat Tomaten auf den Augen.
I believe my pig is whistling. (I’m very surprised.)
Ich glaube mein Schwein pfeift.

He’s acting the part of a wronged liver sausage. (He’s really milking being the victim.)
Er spielt die beledigte Leberwurst.
Do you still have all the mugs in the cupboard? (Are you a bit cuckoo or what?)
Hast du noch alle Tassen im Schrank?
Good idiom joke

Now I’m standing on a hose. (I’ve no idea what to do now.)
Jetzt stehe ich auf dem Schlauch.
There wasn’t a single swine. (Nobody was there.)
Kein Schwein war da.

You’re getting on my biscuit. (You’re annoying me.)
Du geht’s mir auf den Keks.
Lid down, monkey’s dead. (This thing is finished. That’s it.)
Klapp zu, Affe tot.
I have cabbage steam. (I’m starving.)
Ich habe Kohldampf.

Did you fall from a blueberry bush and hit your bossom? (Are you a bit touched in the head?)
Spadl jsi z borůvky na prsa?
It’s as useful to me as a winter coat to a corpse. (Not useful at all.)
Je mi to platný jak mrtvýmu zimník.
He acts as though he ate Solomon’s poop. (He thinks he’s the smartest man alive.)
Chová se, jako by sežral Šalamounovo hovno.
He’s important like the railing at an abyss. (He acts like he's the most important guy ever.)
Je důležitej jak zábradlí u Macochy.
To beat thrushes (really, the birds). (To snooze, or nod off. Even Czech linguists are arguing how the heck did that one come about.)
Tlouct špačky.
It is a sausage to me. (I don’t care at all.)
Je mi to buřt.

To pull on the house shoes. (To kick the bucket.)
Natáhnout bačkory.
She’s floating around like a poop on a water canal. (She acts all high and aristocratic.)
Nese se jak hovno na průplavu.

Where the foxes are wishing a good night. (In the middle of nowhere.)
Kde dávají lišky dobrou noc.
Climb up my hump. (Leave me alone.)
Vlez mi na hrb.


There’s a testicle in the soup. (There’s a problem!)
Il y une couille dans le potage.
To comb a giraffe. (To do something pointless.)
Peigner la giraffe.
To have one’s butt full of noodles. (To be very lucky.)
Avoir le cul bordé de nouilles.
To pee in a violin. (To be pointless.)
Pisser dans un violon.
To fart higher than one’s butt. (To be full of yourself.)
Péter plus haut que son cul.
To have one’s head up one’s butt. (To be very tired.)
Avoir la tête dans le cul.
I do it with my cock and my knife. (I do it with very limited equipment/resources. You know, MacGyver style.)
Je le fais avec ma bite et mon couteau.
Go boil yourself an egg. (Leave me alone.)
Aller se faire cuire un œuf.


To smell the mint off somebody. (To be attracted to someone.)
Czuć miętę do kogoś.
He has flies up his nose. (He’s irritated.)
Ma muchy w nosie.
To sit like in a Turkish sermon. (To have no idea what they’re talking about.)
Siedzieć jak na tureckim kazaniu.
He goes to sleep with the chickens. (He goes to bed early.)
Chodzi spać z kurami
To dress up like a rat for a sewage opening. (To dress up too fancy for the occasion.)
Wystroić się jak szczur na otwarcie kanału.
What does gingerbread got to do with a fan? (What’s that got to do with anything?)
Co ma piernik do wiatraka?
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