Jokes About Socialism

Best first: On paper, communism sounds like a pretty good idea.

Unless what you’re reading is an actual history book.
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Jokes about socialism

Jokes About Socialism, Soviet Union and Communism

Lenin has never been seen drinking black tea. He firmly stuck to fruit blends. He believed all proper tea is immoral.
Comrade President, our people are dying of hunger!”

“Release a statement we are radically reducing the number of people below poverty line!
”Mathematics is the highest form of discrimination.

No number is equal to another!
Jokes about communism are only good if everybody gets them.
North Korea recently changed their volume measurement system. The liter is now only to be called the dear liter.
1968 university entrance exam in the Soviet Union:

Do you love the communist party?

YES – 10 points.

NO – 10 years.
What is socialism? A system which bravely and innovatively conquers barriers that wouldn’t be present in any other system.
The seven wonders of communist/socialist countries:

1. Everybody has a job.

2. Even though everybody has a job – nobody’s working.

3. Even though nobody’s working – the quotas are being met at 110%.

4. Even though the quotas are being met at 110% – you can’t find anything worth a crap in the shops.

5. Even though you can’t find anything worth a crap in the shops – everybody has everything.

6. Even though everybody has everything – people are stealing everywhere.

7. Even though people are stealing everywhere – nothing is ever being missed.
Funny saying / joke against socialism
In a Soviet prison library:

I’m sorry, we don’t have the book you wanted. But we do have its author!
What is the war-time Russian hamburger?

Two bread tickets with a meat ticket between them.
Are you familiar with the Russian electric shaving machine?

You hold a piece of sandpaper to your face with one hand and then you stick two fingers of your other hand in the socket.
If your country has serious problems, start a revolution!

Pretty soon you’ll realize you didn’t really have any problems at all.
A Soviet space ship crash lands upon entering Earth’s atmosphere.

Only the captain and the ship’s carpenter survived.
How many communists do you need to change a lightbulb?

Two hundred.

Ten to create a five-year plan to accomplish the task.

Ten to set up a state-owned factory to produce lightbulbs.

Twenty to work in the factory.

Fifty to establish a union and run union paper.

Ninety-nine to create a campaign proving the original lightbulb was destroyed by capitalists.

And one to nip quietly to the nearest imperialist country and buy a lightbulb on the sly.

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