More Mother Jokes
name is Joe and she's the hairiest in the zoo.
goes swimming. All kids are screaming, "Who's going to get
to the island first!
has to comb her back.
is so fat and old that when God said, "Let there be light," he had
to ask her to move out of the way.
is so fat
she looks at the menu in a restaurant and simply says, "OK."
so fat, she needs two SD cards when she wants to save a selfie.
butt hair is so long it regularly gets stuck in her zipper.
armpits are so hairy she looks like she has two hippies in a
is so fat when she steps on the scale, it goes: "We don't
is so fat when she died, she broke the stairway to heaven and had to
go to hell.
is so fat, she’s round even in Minecraft.
was born, whales had no natural enemies.
is so stupid. She gets a second opinion from the same
You know why
has such a flat head in the back?
Because the toilet cover keeps falling on her head when she’s drinking.
is so fat she's on both sides of your family!
is so hideous, she once went to a hair salon and told the
hairdresser to cut her hair - and then she opened her blouse!
The zoo called. They want
so big, she was born between the 13th and 17th December.
farts, the volcano says impressed: Holy Smokes!!
is so old her birth certificate is made out in Roman numerals.
If somebody were to light up one of
farts, that would be the end
of all life on Earth.
works for Weight Watchers as the "Before" picture.
so fat she uses a boomerang to get her belt on.
sings pirate songs on the toilet.
goes to the zoo, she throws feces at the apes.
is so fat, when she falls down in Wyoming, a bike falls
down in China.
so fat, when she falls on her back, she’s still the same height as
so fat, Ebola wouldn't know where to start.
buys the All You Can Eat Menu twice.
so ugly, when she sits down on a
sandy beach, cats try to bury her.
is so fat – she puts on a gray T-shirt and people mistake her for the
has to wear a muzzle when she
goes out for a walk.
tapeworms have diabetes.
is so poor that ducks throw bread
is twice the man you’ll ever be.
farts in the cinema, she gets a private
is so poor, she runs after the garbage truck with a shopping list.
Does your dad have this really long, bushy beard?
Oh, then I saw
at the shops yesterday.
collects ugly children.
is so fat that
when the world goes down, people can still live on her.
She is so fat, Death can't get to her.
Every time your dog farts in the car,
rolls up the windows.
is so fat, she sits next to everybody in the cinema!
is dead easy. Whatever animal sees her gets
paralyzed on the spot.
so fat, when she walks past a television, you miss all three parts
of the Lord of the Rings.
hadn’t jumped in the pool, NASA wouldn't have
found water on Mars.
so fat she shakes down the prices just by walking
is so ugly she can stop a mob.
is so old and ugly that when the Lord
said, “Let there be light”, he immediately followed it with “Holy mackerel, wtf is that!”
so fat that when her doctor diagnosed her with a flesh eating disease, he
gave her five years to live.
so mean, she uses yo
mama jokes on orphans.
went on a diet the
other week. Everybody was happy and the world hunger was over.
was really fat. I
mean, before she was buried, the earth was still flat!
been fully established yet whether
lives on Earth, or whether
the Earth lives on your mother.
back hair so
thick, she ruined your neighbor’s rake the other day trying to comb it.
is so overweight
she once boarded a train and the train couldn’t start rolling.