The best YO MAMA JOKES
The funniest jokes about your mother :-)
Yo mama is so fat, she makes horses disappear just by sitting on them.
Yo mama is so fat, last time she went for a swim in the ocean, some Japanese
boat tried to harpoon her.
When yo mama goes to McDonald’s, all
the other customers are asked to leave.
Yo mama works for Weight Watchers as the "Before" picture.
Yo mama is so fat, she sits next to everybody in the cinema!
Yo mama so ugly, when she sits down on a sandy beach, cats try to bury her.
Your mom arm wrestles for beer.
What does Santa Claus and your mom have in common?
The beard.
Why can't yo momma die?
-
She is so fat, Death can't get to her.
Local authorities put out poop bags for your mom’s droppings.
Your mother can scare mirrors.
Your mom was surprised to find an iPad after she sat on an iPhone.
Your mother barks when someone is at the door.
Your mom yells from the toilet: "Hey everyone, I'm 3D printer!"
Yo mama is so hideous, she once went to a hair salon and told the
hairdresser to cut her hair - and then she opened her blouse!
Yo momma so fat, she needs two SD cards when she wants to save a selfie.
Yo mama is constantly tripping over her stomach hair.
When
yo mama farts in the cinema, she gets a private
viewing.
Your mother is so fat, she has her own gravitational field.
How do you get your momma in the house?
-
You grease the door frames.
Yo momma's butt hair is so long it regularly gets stuck in her zipper.
Your mom is so ugly. When she was born, they threw her away and tried to
raise the afterbirth.
Yo mama is
so fat that when her doctor diagnosed her with a flesh eating disease, he
gave her five years to live.
Climate scientist wonder. Sometimes sea water levels rise and sometimes they
fall. The answer may lie in yo mama’s bathing habits.
Yo momma has to wear a muzzle when she
goes out for a walk.
Your mom plays in the Beauty and the Beast. She’s the Beast.
Your mom is so fat, when she lies on her stomach, she gets vertigo.
Yo momma is so fat – she puts on a gray T-shirt and people mistake her for the
Death Star.
Hunting with yo mama is dead easy. Whatever animal sees her gets
paralyzed on the spot.
The military use your mom as a minesweeper.
Yo mama buys the All You Can Eat Menu twice.
Yo mama is no Muslim but she is so ugly the government wants her to wear a
burqa.
Yo mama's so fat, Ebola wouldn't know where to start.
You mama is so fat, climate change scientists are thinking about whether
they should shoot your mom into space to block the sun.
Yo mama is so poor that ducks throw bread
at her!
Yo mama collects ugly children.
Every time your dog farts in the car, yo mama rolls up the windows.
Yo mama is the stronges one in prison.
I met your mom yesterday, she seemed like a
very nice guy.
Yo mama is so fat, before she was buried, the earth was still flat!
Yo mama's back hair
is so
thick, she ruined your neighbor’s rake the other day trying to comb it.
Yo mama is so fat, when she falls down in Wyoming, a bike falls down in
China.
Your mama is so fat
she looks at the menu in a restaurant and simply says, "OK."
Yo mama is so hairy, she keeps getting stuck on the escalator.
Yo mama is so stupid. She gets a second opinion from the same
doctor.
Yes, I did spit your mother in the face but that was only because her
mustache was on fire.
Yo mama is twice the man you’ll ever be.
Yo mama is so fat, when she walks past a television, you miss all three parts
of the Lord of the Rings.
Your moms butt hair is so long she always has to fight being pulled
into the toilet when she flushes.
Chuck Norris is afraid of your mother.
When your mom farts, even the skunks outside have problems breathing.
Your mom is the final boss in Diablo III.
Yo mama has to comb her back.
Yo mom looks so terrible, she went into a haunted house on a dare and
came out with a new job.
Your mom works in prision as punishment.
Yo mama's armpits are so hairy she looks like she has two hippies in a
headlock.
Yo mama is so fat, she plays gravitational tug of war
with black holes!
When your mom goes into the public swimming pool the water becomes yellow.
Yo mama received an offical ban on jumping. NASA calculated there's too
much of risk she'd be taking us out of orbit.
Until
yo mama was born, whales had no natural enemies.
Yo mama once lit her fart. The sun said,"I give up!"
You know why yo mama has such a flat head in the back?
-
Because the toilet cover keeps falling on her head when she’s drinking.
They banned your mother from Walmart.
Yo mama is so poor, she runs after the garbage truck with a shopping list.
Yo mama is so fat that
when the world goes down, people can still live on her.
Yo mama has legs like a gazelle. Maybe not as thin but definitely that
hairy.
Yo mama sings pirate songs on the toilet.
If yo mama hadn’t jumped in the pool, NASA wouldn't have
found water on Mars.
Your mom plays the leading role in the movie Godzilla.
Your mom keeps every night 20 homeless people warm in the winter. With her body heat.
Yo mama so mean, she uses yo
mama jokes on orphans.
Yo Mama So Fat Jokes
Yo mama so fat and old that when God said, "Let there be light," he had
to ask her to move out of the way.
Your mama so fat that if she tried to bungee jump, she'd go straight
to hell!
Yo mama is so fat, they drive your mama to work with a forklift.
Even your moms shadow has got high blood sugars.
Yo Momma is so fat, I made a picture of her last easter and it's still
printing.
Yo mama so fat, she works as an outdoor cinema screen.
Yo mama so fat when she died, she broke the stairway to heaven and had to
go to hell.
Yo mama is so fat, the selfie stick just ain't long enough for her.
Yo mama is in a long distance relationship with her belly button.
Yo mama so fat when she steps on the scale, it goes: "We don't do
livestock".
Even yo mama's tapeworms have diabetes.
Yo mama is so fat, when she showers, it takes the water 3 minutes to
finally hit the floor.
Yo mama is so fat she's on both sides of your family!
Your mother has to peep when she goes backwards.
Yo mama so big, she was born between the 13th and 17th December.
When your mother goes for a walk in the forest, her leftover food attracts
hordes of bears.
Yo mama is so fat she sank a rowing machine last week.
Yo mama so fat she uses a boomerang to get her belt on.
Your mother is so fat, MOBY DICK looks like a TIC TAC next to her.
Yo mama is so fat she has to put a "Detour" sign around her neck when
she goes out for walk.
It hasn’t
been fully established yet whether yo mama lives on Earth, or whether
the Earth lives on your mother.
Yo mama so fat when she leaves the house in high heels she comes home
in Flip-Flops.
Yo mama is so overweight
she once boarded a train and the train couldn’t start rolling.
Yo mama is so fat she had to be baptized in SEA World.
Your mom
eats the all-you-can-eat buffet.
Your Mother Jokes for Kids
The zoo called. They want yo mama back.
Yo mama's name is Joe and she's the hairiest in the zoo.
Yo mama goes swimming. All kids are screaming, "Who's going to get
to the island first!
A bus crashed into your mom. Your mom turned around and yelled: "Hey,
which one of y'all threw the stone?"
Yo Mamma is so fat - when she gets into a lift it only goes down.
When yo mama farts, the volcano says impressed: Holy Smokes!!
Yo mama is so fat she falls from both sides of the bed.
Yo mama steals your pocket money.
If somebody were to light up one of yo mama's farts, that would be the end
of all life on Earth.
Bob the builder once saw your mum, he said, "No, we can't fix this!"
Your mom is so fat, she reserves the whole row in the cinema.
Your mom is so fat she darkens our classroom every time she comes to
pick you up from school.
Your Mom farts uncontrollably when she laughs and blames you.
Yo mama only keeps you because of child support.
Yo mama fights bears for the food remains at camping sites.
Yo Mama So Ugly Jokes
Yo mama is so ugly she can stop a mob.
Your mother is so ugly, your father takes her with him to work so he
wouldn't have to kiss her.
Yo momma's so ugly she once threw a boomerang and it refused to come
back to her.
Yo mama is so ugly that even the family dog refuses to lick her face.
Yo mama is so ugly, when she was born she was thrown away and the afterbirth
was raised.
Your mom is so ugly, people break into her house just to close the
curtains.
Yo mama has more chins than a chinese phone book!
NATO is thinking to send your mom to Ukraine to repel the Russians.
When your mother looks out of the window, SATAN starts vomiting.
Yo mama is so ugly, she's traumatizing the neighborhood.
Your mom is so ugly, the FBI is using her as a flash grenade.
Your mother is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, the mirror gasps,
"Whoa, no, I quit!"
When I see yo mama, I feel pretty again.
Yo Mama So Old Jokes
Your mom is so old, she has a signed copy of the Bible.
Yo mama so old and ugly that when the Lord
said, “Let there be light”, he immediately followed it with “Holy mackerel, wtf is that!”
Yo mama is so old her passport states her birth date as jurassic period.
Your mom’s hunger is the real reason why species became extinct.
Yo mama is so old her birth certificate is made out in Roman numerals.
