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Kids Jokes

The best first: Why does the giraffe have such a long neck?

Because its feet smell really bad.
 Kids Jokes

Jokes for Kids | Part 1

Funny jokes for children from 8 years on:
(Note: Try as well the New Kids Jokes section)

What does a snail say when he finds himself on a turtle’s back?

What is the best season to jump on a trampoline?
Spring time.
A prisoner is finally released, after many years in jail. He stands at the pavement, yelling, "I'm free! I'm free!"
A little kid walks up to him happily and joins, “I’m four! I’m four!"
Two ants want to fight an elephant.
The elephant replies: “Two on one? That’s not fair!”
Mother is waking her son: “Paulie, come, wake up, you have to go to school.”
“Aw mom, just a bit more sleep, please.”
“No, it’s really high time, now get up.”
“But I don’t want to. The children annoy me and the teachers are a complete pain!”
“Stop it, now. Get up and off to school with you!”
“Mom, give me two good reasons why I should go to the stupid school.”
“Paulie, first of all, you’re 45, and second, you’re the headmaster.”

What is the strongest creature in the world? The snail. It carries its whole house on its back.

Joke for Kids

“OK Ronnie, you really have to sleep now. If I hear ‘Moooom’ one more time, there’ll be no ice cream tomorrow.”

*10 minutes later*

“Mrs. Smith? Can I get a glass of water please?”
Why don’t snails fart?

Because their houses don’t have any windows.
Dad on the last day of school: So, where’s your school report, my boy?

Tom: Sorry, I’ll bring it a day later.

Dad: Why?

Tom: I borrowed it to Kevin because he wanted to scare his parents.
 A teacher shows Little Johnny a butterfly and asks, “Well, Johnny, what do we call this butterfly?”

Little Johnny says, “That’s a common brimstone.”

“Come on, Johnny, brimstones aren’t green!”

“Well maybe this one isn’t ripe yet?”
I’m still not sure whether to buy this house. It’s really nice and everything but I heard it’s haunted.

Pishposh. I’ve never seen any ghosts here, and I’ve lived in the neighborhood for 500 years!
Teacher to Paul: “Wake up, Paul! You can’t sleep in class!”
Paul to teacher: “I could actually, it’s just that you’re a bit loud.”

Teacher asks the student: “Why are you so late?!”

Student: “Well I was crossing the road and suddenly it says “School ahead, go slowly!”
Four elephants go for a walk on a stormy day. They only have one umbrella between them. How come they none of them get wet?
Well did anybody say it was raining?

What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
He didn't count with this...
Where do pencils spend their vacations?
In Pencilvania.

Kid Joke Pencil

Mother, “How was school today, Patrick?”

Patrick, “It was really great mum! Today we made explosives!”

Mother, “Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?”

Patrick, “What school?”
A guy comes to his doctor: “Doctor, please, every time I say 'Abra Kadabra,' people disappear."
"Doctor? Doctor?!”
A child comes home dripping wet.
Mother: What on earth were you doing?!
Kid: We were playing dog with my friends and I was the tree.
A snail mama goes shopping and asks her snail child: “Should I get you anything?”
“Yeah, could you get me yoghurt please?”
Two weeks later the snail mama comes back: “Strawberry or cherry?”
Kid Joke Movies Cow
Little Johnny asks the teacher, “Mrs Roberts, can I be punished for something I haven’t done?”
Mrs Roberts is shocked, “Of course not, Johnny, that would be very unfair!”
Little Johnny is relieved, “OK Mrs Roberts, sorry, I haven’t done my homework.”
Next Part
Kids Jokes

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | New Kids Jokes

See also: Cute Jokes| Clean Jokes


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