Read those really good short jokes and find yourself laughing like a
Really Funny One-Liners
What do you get when you wake up on a workday and realize you ran out of
I used to breed rabbits. Then I realized they can handle it themselves.
My dog is an awesome fashion adviser. Every time I ask him what I look like
in my clothes, he says “WOW!”
What do you get when you cross-breed a cow and a shark?
don’t know, but I wouldn't enjoy milking it.
Need cheering up? Start a fight with somebody when they have the
Meanwhile in a parallel universe: “Oh for God’s sake! Where are all these
extra single socks coming from?!”
If I got 50 cents for every failed math exam, I’d have $ 6.30 now.
I will never forget my dad’s last words: “Will you stop playing with the
Do not go to the bathroom in a dream. It’s a trap!
What is pointless?
To tell a bald guy a hair-raising story.
What is white and flies up?
A retarded snowflake
Why do bees hum?
They don't remember the text!
I heard women love a man in uniform. Can’t wait to start working at
What happens to mountains when they touch each other?
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
What can you share and yet keep at the same time?
An STD for
How to disable autocorrect in wife?
Man attempted to hijack a bus full of Japanese tourists. The police has
3756 photos of him.
Why are eggs not very much into jokes? Because they could crack up.
Math book. The only place where it’s normal to have 21 melons and
suddenly eat twelve of them.
What do you call the soft tissue between a shark's teeth?
It’s hard, being a cop in Alaska. You have to ask things like “What were
you doing on the night from 15th December till 15th January?”
I went to see the doctor about my short-term memory problems. The first
thing the bastard did was made me pay in advance.
Women usually claim childbirth is the most painful experience of their
lives. Until they start stepping on Legos approximately three years later.
Mom! I’m a 3d printer!
Oh come on, Tommy, close the door when you
Does your horse smoke?
Well, then I think your stable is
Barkeep: I’m sorry, we never serve time travelers.
A time traveler
walks into a bar.
How many men were born in 2017?
None. Only babies were
Why are you smiling?
Well I just made a test and I'm not
That's wonderful, Harold!
What are a shark’s two most favorite words?
I don’t think women should be allowed to have kids after 40. 40 kids is
way too much by any standard.
What is Jesus' favorite food?
What is written on a dentist’s grave?
He’s filling his last cavity.
Losing a wife can be very tough. Some may even say impossible.
A man drops his phone on a concrete floor. The phone is fine, no damage. How
He had it on airplane mode.
Two snails are chatting on the sidewalk. “I’ll have to cross the road,” says
“Well, be careful,” says the other one, “there’s a bus coming
in an hour.“
What do you call a vegan with diarrhea?
A smoothie maker.
What swims and starts with a T?
Best One Liners