Bad Jokes | Part 3 (Horrible Humor)

Horrible Bad Jokes!

Well, Little Johnny, how are your parents?
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They died. Mushroom poisoning.
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That is terrible! So you live with your uncle, right?
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No, he died. Mushroom poisoning.
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What?! That’s tragic! What about your grandparents?
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They died too. Mushroom poisoning.
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Good heavens! What are you doing with yourself then, boy?
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I enjoy picking mushrooms.

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Doctor: “Do you like smoking?”

Patient: “No, why?”

Doctor: “It’s just that they have Black Friday offers for cremation…”

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Doctor: “Thank the Lord, Mr. Brinkleman, for surely through his glory, you are healed. It is a true miracle.”

Man: “So… I don't need to pay you?”

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“How old are you again?”

“I’m 12, grandpa.”

“Huh, at your age, I was already 13!”

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“I am a master of fast calculations.”
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“OK, what is 758 time 642 divided by 5?”
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“22!”
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“Ha ha, that’s wrong!”
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“Might be, but it was fast!”

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I bought a Chihuahua for my wife. Chihuahuas are amazing. Despite the huge ears, bulging eyes and terrible breath, he’s very fond of her.

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What did the cowboy say to the cow that stood on the barn roof?
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Get down, cow!

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Check out our Anti-Jokes

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In the middle of the desert one cat says to the other,

“Oh boy, I have to pee so badly.”

“Why don’t you just do it?”

“I can’t. There is no litter box.”

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A man walks in a bar, “Could I have a beer, please?”
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Bartender smiles, “Maybe.”

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Peter: “Oh, this joke is old.”
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Michael: “How could it be old when I just heard it yesterday?”

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Grandpa takes a walk with his grandson. As they’re passing through the yard, the grandpa stumbles over a plastic bucket that’s just lying there.
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The grandson perks up: "Ooh, will we go on holidays now, grandpa?"
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Grandpa: "Why are you asking?"
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Grandson: "Well, dad said that once you kick the bucket, we can afford to go!'"

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My bicycle’s gone.
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Did you have a chain on it?
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Yes
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Well, then the chain is gone too.

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Next: Bad Jokes Part 4 (Short One-Liners)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6  Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10