Bad Jokes | Part 3 (Horrible Humor)

The best horrible joke first: A woman starts chatting to a man on a subway: "Hello my name is Margaret."
The man replies: "Mine not."
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Bad jokes

Horrible Bad Jokes!

Well, Little Johnny, how are your parents?
They died. Mushroom poisoning.
That is terrible! So you live with your uncle, right?
No, he died. Mushroom poisoning.
What?! That’s tragic! What about your grandparents?
They died too. Mushroom poisoning.
Good heavens! What are you doing with yourself then, boy?
I enjoy picking mushrooms.

Doctor: “Do you like smoking?”

Patient: “No, why?”

Doctor: “It’s just that they have Black Friday offers for cremation…”
Horrible Jokes Constipation
Doctor: “Thank the Lord, Mr. Brinkleman, for surely through his glory, you are healed. It is a true miracle.”

Man: “So… I don't need to pay you?”
“How old are you again?”

“I’m 12, grandpa.”

“Huh, at your age, I was already 13!”

“I am a master of fast calculations.”
“OK, what is 758 time 642 divided by 5?”
“Ha ha, that’s wrong!”
“Might be, but it was fast!”
I bought a Chihuahua for my wife. Chihuahuas are amazing. Despite the huge ears, bulging eyes and terrible breath, he’s very fond of her.
What did the cowboy say to the cow that stood on the barn roof?
Get down, cow!
Check out our Anti-Jokes
In the middle of the desert one cat says to the other,

“Oh boy, I have to pee so badly.”

“Why don’t you just do it?”

“I can’t. There is no litter box.”
A man walks in a bar, “Could I have a beer, please?”
Bartender smiles, “Maybe.”
Peter: “Oh, this joke is old.”
Michael: “How could it be old when I just heard it yesterday?”

Grandpa takes a walk with his grandson. As they’re passing through the yard, the grandpa stumbles over a plastic bucket that’s just lying there.
The grandson perks up: "Ooh, will we go on holidays now, grandpa?"
Grandpa: "Why are you asking?"
Grandson: "Well, dad said that once you kick the bucket, we can afford to go!'"
My bicycle’s gone.
Did you have a chain on it?
Well, then the chain is gone too.
Next: Bad Jokes Part 4 (Short One-Liners)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6  Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10

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