Contact Privacy
 

Jokes to Tell

April 21, 2020 / Last updated: May 19, 2020

 Author Katerina Janikby
Best first: Where do fish go to chill?

At a sandbar.
    
 

Share the laugh! Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends


What does a shark say when it sees a submarine?

Yummy, canned food!
Two snails are talking, “You know how my wife left me with the kids in the spring? You wanna know the most hurtful part?”

“What is it?”

“I can still see them there in that bend.”

Two American Indians are sitting by the river, watching smoke signals going up in the distance.

A third Indian joins them from the bushes. “Anything important?” he asks his friends.

“Don’t know, it’s still just commercials.”
What does the skeleton say when it goes to a doctor?

Sorry I’m late.
A woman comes to see her doctor, “Dr. Jacobs, I accidentally ate a ten-dollar note, but now I keep finding coins in the toilet – what’s going on?”

“Oh it’s perfectly normal,” assures her the doctor, “my guess is that you’re in your changing years.”
Having a chuckle at the computer is great, but making the whole room roar with laughter is even better. Enjoy these jokes that are great to tell others and make everyone laugh. 
The barkeep notices that whenever he brings over another beer, the coaster has disappeared. After five beers, he decides to just stop bothering and brings the sixth beer without a coaster. The Russian guy grumbles, “Vot, no cracker vith the beer?”
Pearly Gates Joke

What is it? It has little wings and attaches to certain humans at night to suck a lot of their blood.

Answer: Always Ultra Night.
Who goes meow?

If you said a cat, then you’re wrong. A human says meow when he’s trying to copy the sound a cat does.
Why don’t cows have feet like we do?

Because they lactose.
The doctor says to his patient at the end of a checkup, “OK, let’s do a stress tolerance test. Nurse, the bill please.”

Chief surgeon comes across a young doctor just leaving the operating room and claps him on the shoulder, “So, how was your first operation, Noel?”

The young doctor turns bright red and stammers, “Um… operation? I thought it was an autopsy?”
A wife calls her husband at work, “Robert, have you ever experienced this piercing pains all over your body? Like as if somebody had a voodoo doll image of you and was sticking pins into it?”

“No…” he replied confusedly.

“Alright, hang on… and now?”

More Marriage Jokes
A sulky Russian guy sits in a pub and throws back one beer after the other.

The barkeep notices that whenever he brings over another beer, the coaster has disappeared. After five beers, he decides to just stop bothering and brings the sixth beer without a coaster. The Russian guy grumbles, “Vot, no cracker vith the beer?”
What do Facebook and the fridge have in common?

Even though you know that there’s nothing there, you still go and check every 10 minutes.
Little Johnny comes home from school and says, “We did a test today mom, and I only answered one question wrong.”

Mommy says, “Oh, nice, so you got a good mark, right?”

Little Johnny replies, “Not really. I didn’t answer the other questions at all.”

What do you get on the ocean surface in really gentle wind?

Microwaves.
What do goats say when something bad happens?

Oh my goat…




 
 Do you know a good joke?
Please submit it here:



Security question:
What do you see on the pictrues?






 
UP to the top of the page
 
Press Ctrl + D on your keyboard (Mac: Command + D) to add short-funny.com to your bookmarks.

Important note: Please don't copy our funny content without citing us as source.
 
Please contact us if you plan to copy more than 100 words.

2020 Short-Funny.com. All rights reserved.

Follow us on Facebook


About us