Share the laugh! Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends
What does a shark say when it sees a submarine?
Two snails are talking, “You know how my wife left me with the kids in the
spring? You wanna know the most hurtful part?”
“What is it?”
“I can still see them there in that bend.”
Two American Indians are sitting by the river, watching smoke signals going
up in the distance.
A third Indian joins them from the bushes.
“Anything important?” he asks his friends.
“Don’t know, it’s still
What does the skeleton say when it goes to a doctor?
Sorry I’m late.
A woman comes to see her doctor, “Dr. Jacobs, I accidentally ate a
ten-dollar note, but now I keep finding coins in the toilet – what’s going
“Oh it’s perfectly normal,” assures her the doctor, “my guess is
that you’re in your changing years.”
Having a chuckle at the computer is great, but making the whole room roar
with laughter is even better. Enjoy these jokes that are great to tell
others and make everyone laugh.
The barkeep notices that whenever he brings over another beer, the coaster
has disappeared. After five beers, he decides to just stop bothering and
brings the sixth beer without a coaster. The Russian guy grumbles, “Vot, no
cracker vith the beer?”
What is it? It has little wings and attaches to certain humans at night to
suck a lot of their blood.
Answer: Always Ultra Night.
Who goes meow?
If you said a cat, then you’re wrong. A human says
meow when he’s trying to copy the sound a cat does.
Why don’t cows have feet like we do?
Because they lactose.
The doctor says to his patient at the end of a checkup, “OK, let’s
do a stress tolerance test. Nurse, the bill please.”
Chief surgeon comes across a young doctor just leaving the operating
room and claps him on the shoulder, “So, how was your first operation,
doctor turns bright red and stammers, “Um… operation? I thought it was an
A wife calls her husband at work, “Robert, have you ever experienced this
piercing pains all over your body? Like as if somebody had a voodoo doll
image of you and was sticking pins into it?”
“No…” he replied
“Alright, hang on… and now?”
More Marriage Jokes
A sulky Russian guy sits in a pub and throws back one beer after the other.
The barkeep notices that whenever he brings over another beer, the
coaster has disappeared. After five beers, he decides to just stop bothering
and brings the sixth beer without a coaster. The Russian guy grumbles, “Vot,
no cracker vith the beer?”
What do Facebook and the fridge have in common?
Even though you know
that there’s nothing there, you still go and check every 10 minutes.
Little Johnny comes home from school and says, “We did a test today mom,
and I only answered one question wrong.”
“Oh, nice, so you got a good mark, right?”
Little Johnny replies,
“Not really. I didn’t answer the other questions at all.”
What do you get on the ocean surface in really gentle wind?
What do goats say when something bad happens?
Oh my goat…