Grandpa’s last words will stay with me forever: “Quit rattlin’ the ladder ya
I tried one of those organic deodorant stick. It said in the instructions:
1. Remove the cap
2. Push thumb up the bottom part for
It is very difficult to sit but my farts smell very
How many women were born in 2018? - None. Only baby girls and baby
That awkward moment when you whisper in your boyfriend's ear that you
want to feel him inside you and he sticks his finger in your nose.
What do you call an angry German mob?
Feeling adventurous? Go to a Walmart changing room and after five minutes
start asking loudly where they keep the toilet paper!
I saw an ad recently: LASER HAIR REMOVAL. But come on, if you had laser
hair, would you really want to remove them? No, you’d be starting world
Patient to his doctor: “Doctor, please help me. I think I’m a moth.” -
The doctor says: “I’m sorry, but I’m not your guy. You have to go see a
psychiatrist.” - The patient sighs: “I wanted to. But the light in
your office is so much brighter!”
Two hunters are comparing their stories. One says, “I once shot a wild boar
so big they had to come get it with a tractor!”
The other scoffs,
“Ha, I once shot a bird so big, 357 people got out of it when it hit the
A patient runs out of the operation room, screaming. - A doctor stops
him and asks: “Mr. Ainsley! What on Earth is happening?! Why are you
running?!” - The patient breathes heavily: “I was about to be operated
on, doctor. And then the nurse said: ‘Come now, stop panicking. You’ll
manage just fine!’” - The doctor shrugs: “Oh but that’s nice, no?
Nurse being supportive to you?” - The patient gets angry: “She was
talking to the surgeon!”
Magic is awesome. Do you know the name of the magical stick that makes
men disappear? The pregnancy stick.
My grandpa returned from the war with one leg. He never said to whom
My mother urged me to attend a cooking class. She said: “A man should know
how to cook. It impresses the girls.”
After a few lessons, a very
beautiful girl started chatting to me. One thing led to another – aaand we
are very good friends now.