Little Johnny Jokes
Why was Little Johnny crying?
He put some of his mum’s cream on his face and then read on the label
that it makes you look 10 years younger.
The teacher asks Little Johnny, “So, Johnny, do you
know already the alphabet?”
Little Johnny, “Yes, until 100!”
Little Johnny walks a cow through the village square.
The mayor sees him and asks, “Hey Johnny, where are you going with the
“I’m taking her to the bulls so she would get pregnant,” answers Johnny.
The mayor is shocked, “Surely your father had better be doing that?”
Little Johnny thinks about it for a bit and shakes his head, “Nah, I
think it’s really best left with the bulls.”
Teacher: "Why are you praying in class little
Little Johnny: “My mom taught me to always pray before going to sleep."
– Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry?
– Because I helped her.
– But that is a good thing! What did you help her with?
– I helped her eat her gummy bears.
Johnny, where’s your homework?
Johnny: I’m very sorry, I don’t have it here.
Teacher: How come?
Johnny: I ate my exercise books.
Teacher: What?! Why would you do such a thing?!
Johnny: The dog refused to.
“So what have you been doing at school today,
“I don’t really want to talk about it mom. You’ll see it later on the
Little Johnny goes to his teacher, “Peter beat myself
in the face.”
The teacher corrects Little Johnny, “Me. Peter beat me in the face.”
Little Johnny is shocked, “What? You too?!”
Little Johnny asks the teacher, “Mrs Roberts, can I
be punished for something I haven’t done?”
Mrs Roberts is shocked, “Of course not, Johnny, that would be very
Little Johnny is relieved, “OK Mrs Roberts, sorry, I haven’t done my
Little Johnny asks his mum, “Mum, do all fairy tales begin with ‘Once
upon a time in a faraway land’?”
“No darling,” says his mother, somewhat distressed, “Sometimes, they can
begin with ‘I’ve got too much work in the office tonight, I’ll come home
Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, “Dad, tomorrow there’s a
special ‘Adults’ evening’ at school.
Daddy is surprised, “Really? Special?”
“Yes,” nods Johnny, “it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster
and two police officers.”
Teacher: “Are you even paying attention, Johnny?
Come, tell us at least two pronouns, right now!”
Little Johnny: “Who, me?”
Teacher: “Wow who knew, very well done.”
Mom: “Son, why is your room always such an unholy
Little Johnny: “It's a good thing. You should keep yours really messy as
Mom: “What?! Why?!”
Little Johnny: “Because that way if robbers came in our home, they would
think that their colleagues have already been here and they’d give up.”
Teacher tells little Johnny off, “You know very well
you can’t sleep in my class, Johnny.”
Johnny admits, “Yes, I know miss. But maybe, if you didn’t speak quite
so loud, I could.”
of the best Little Johnny jokes
| Part 2
| Part 3