My ex had an accident. I told the paramedics the wrong blood type for
her.
Finally she’ll experience what rejection is really like.
My wife and I have reached a decision that we do not want children. If
anybody does please just send me your contact details and we can drop
them off tomorrow.
On a mountain trip a man falls down into a crack. His
wife calls after him, “Are you OK?”
“Yeah!”
“Are you hurt?”
“No!”
“Not a scratch? How come?!“
“I’m not done falling yet-et-et-et-et!”
“Mom, I don’t like grandpa anymore.”
“Shush and eat what’s on the table!”
A man calls a suicide hotline in Iraq.
They get excited and asked him if he could drive a truck.
I’ll never understand how you can come up second in a biathlon. I mean –
you’ve got a gun, haven’t you?!
A man wakes from a coma. The wife changes out of her
black clothes and irritated, remarks, "I really cannot depend on you in
anything, can I!"
A guy asks, “How big do penguins get?”
-
His colleague says, “Not much bigger than 4 feet.”
-
The guy scratches his head, “Ok, in that case I guess I ran over a nun
on the way to work.”
Patient: "Doctor! Doctor! Help me - I cannot feel my
legs!"
Doctor: "Don’t panic, that’s perfectly normal. It’s because I amputated
your arms!"
A meeting of the “Castrated Anonymous”
-
High-pitched male voice: "Welcome. I hope you all arrived safe and
sound."
-
Deep male voice: "Yes."
-
High-pitched male voice: "You in the second row, please leave the room
right now."
My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy
tale.
-
Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest.
When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do
some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence
going on.
A patient talks to his doctor, “I really can't decide
between having this operation or facing certain death without it…”
The doctor tries to help, “You know, with a bit of luck, you could have
both.”
The doctor gave me one year to live. So in the heat
of the moment, I shot him. And the judge gave me 15 years. Problem
solved.
Next Part
Best Black Humor Jokes
Part 1 |
Part 2 |
Part 3 |
Part 4 |
Part 5 |
Part 6 |
Part 7 |
Part 8 |
Part 9 |
Part 10 |
New Dark Humor Jokes
See also:
New jokes
