The police believed it was a cereal killer.
A stressed-looking mom and little Johnny run around the beach.
After about fifteen minutes the mom stops, out of breath and
demands, „Come on Johnny, please remember where you buried daddy in
the sand, will you?“
A girl yells at her boyfriend, “That’s it, Henry, we’re through!”
“What? You want to break up? Why?”
“I’m sick of you
constantly laughing at my weight!”
“Ah darling, please, don’t be
like that! Come here, grab these two chairs for yourself, let’s sit down
and talk it out.”
An artist asked the gallery manager if anybody asked about his
"Well, there’s good news and there’s bad news,"
said the owner. "The good one is that a gentleman liked your work
and asked if its value would appreciate after your death. When I
said yes, he bought all 20 of your paintings."
fantastic," whooped the artist. "What could possibly be the bad
"The gentleman was your doctor."
My grandpa kept getting at me for years, telling me how I’m hooked
on all these ‘electronic gadgets’ and such. Look who’s laughing now – he
just had a pacemaker put in.
Three kids are at a Zoo. They seem to be fighting near a wolf
enclosure so an adult walks up to them and asks them their names and
what they’re up to.
The first kid says his name is Ronnie
and that he was simply trying to feed pickles to the wolves.
The second kid introduces herself as Libby and says she was also
just trying to feed pickles to the wolves.
The third child
introduces herself as Pickles.
When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet.
I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a
You’d think they’d be grateful at the blood donor clinic. Not harass
me with stupid questions like, “Where did this blood come from.”
This morning saw what will probably become the worst air disaster in
An ultralight single-seater plane crashed into
a cemetery in Stockholm, Wisconsin.
So far, the search and
rescue teams have recovered 1736 bodies and as the digging continues
into the night, we can only expect that number to climb.
A blind man with a guide dog comes to a town square, takes the dog
by the tail and starts whirling him around.
„What on earth
are you doing?!“ asks a passer-by. The blind man replies, „Nothing,
just looking around a bit.“
Doctor: "Your health seems to be in such a condition that I believe
you can reach 80 years. "
"But doctor, I am already 80!"
"You see - I told you to quit smoking."
What is yellow and makes moms happy in the morning?
One cannibal complains to another, "Man I'm having a terrible
"See? I told you not to eat so many
Do you think there’s no good news about having Alzheimer's?
You can buy and wrap your own surprise presents. Plus you are
constantly making new friends.
First PartBest Black
New Dark Humor Jokes
Have you heard they found a dead guy with his head
buried in his cornflakes?