Dark Jokes | Part 7

The best first: The light at the end of the tunnel – is often simply the front lights of an onrushing train.
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What is black and sticks to a tree?
A peeping tom after a forest fire.

One man's trash is another man's treasure...
(Maybe this wasn’t the ideal way of telling our daughter that she was adopted…)
“Mother I really don’t like the red soup”

“Be quiet child. We get it just once a month”
Funny Improved Revenge Suggestion

Never break someone's heart, they only have one. Break their bones instead, they have 206 of them.
“Do you have Valentines cards that say something like “You’re my only one?”
Sure thing.
Wonderful! I’ll take 8 of those please.
Mom, I’m still having those sharp headaches!
Well why don’t you move away from in front of the dart board then?!
I discovered my mother in law has weekly sessions with Lucifer himself on how to be even more vicious. I’ve no idea what kind of fees she’s charging him.
 A mom tells her son a joke; the son is embarrassed and says: "Mom, please don't tell any more jokes. You really can't make them."
The mom only shrugs and says, "Well – I did make you..."
Either the woman at the back of the train has two really ugly children, or two seriously cool Pokémons.

Doctor tells his patient, “I’m afraid you are going to die in a few hours. What is your last wish?”
Patient replies, “I need a good doctor.”
How to save a man from drowning?
Try removing your foot from their head.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pit bull?

Just the pit bull.
"Mother, why do people die so suddenly in our family?"
What do you call people who use the temperature method of contraception?
Why do hurricanes get such lame names, like Sandy? Name that thing Hurricane Death Megatron 900 and I guarantee folks will be evacuating like they need to.
Next Part
Best Black Humor Jokes

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | New Dark Humor Jokes

See also: New jokes

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