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Bad Jokes - But Funny | Part 2

The best first: Why do birds fly to warmer climates for the winter?
It’s much easier for them than walking!
Our funniest categories:

Bad jokes that are actually funny!

Two grains of sand go through the desert. One to the other: "I have the feeling somebody is watching me."
A guy files for a divorce. Only two days after he hears that his wife’s father died and left her a huge heritage worth a million dollars.

He calls his wife and says: “Honey, I’m pregnant!”
Oh, they were laughing when I told them I’m becoming a stand-up comedian. Well, ha! They’re not laughing now!
Bad Bear Joke
Two tomatoes walk across the street. One of them screams: "Careful there's a truck comi...SPLASH!!!!"
If I were to choose between dating and eating a soup – I think I’d rather eat the soup. Not much point in dating the soup.
A horse goes into a bar.
Barkeeper: "Why such a long face?"
“In our traditional farm hotel, you are woken by the call of the cockerel!”

“Very good, please tell him 9 o’clock.”

At the movies: “Sorry we’re all sold out down to the last place.”
“Excellent, I’ll have the last place then.”

A guy orders at a bakery, "I'd like 19 buns please."

The baker suggests, "I think you should take 20, sir."

"Why?" asks the man, puzzled.

The baker replies, "That way, you would have one more!"
What is yellow and black and flies?
A group of mustard seeds in leather jackets!

What is the difference between a soccer star and a bank robber?
The bank robber goes, “Give me the money or I shoot!”

The soccer star goes, “Give me the money or I don’t shoot!”
I saw you with a new guy. Is it something serious?
No, we do laugh from time to time.
Bad Fly Joke
What did one candle say to the other?
A: I'll be going out tonight.
What happens when a snowman gets angry?

He’ll be having a meltdown until he’s down to earth again.
On a first date:

“So, what is your profession?”

“I copy keys.”

“Really? What are they doing?”
Two cows sit in the basement, chopping up oil.

 A screwdriver goes in through the door, goes up the wall, crosses the ceiling, heads back down the other wall and goes out through the second door.

 One cow looks at the other and says, "This is insane, did you see that?" "Yeah, totally insane, he never greets."
What do you call an alligator that’s wearing a vest?
An investigator.

When I’m bored, I imitate everybody.
But that’s no way for an adult to behave.
But that’s no way for an adult to behave.
Come on, stop being stupid.
Come on, stop being stupid.
The last 4 letters in the word "queue" are silent. Can they be waiting their turn?
Job Interviewer, “Why are you wearing jogging pants?”
Man, “This is customary dress code where I come from.”
“Where do you come from?”
“From home.”
What boats do, when they get sick?
They actually go to the doc(k).
Helium walks into a bar and orders water. Bartender apologizes, "Sorry sir but we're currently out of water." What does Helium do? It doesn't react.
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Horribly Bad Jokes

 Bad Jokes Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 

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