Bad jokes that are actually funny!
Two grains of sand go through the desert. One to the
other: "I have the feeling somebody is watching me."
A guy files for a divorce. Only two days after he
hears that his wife’s father died and left her a huge heritage worth a
million dollars.
He calls his wife and says: “Honey, I’m pregnant!”
My mom loves gardening. She was so excited that spring finally arrived, she
wet her plants.
If I were to choose between dating and eating a soup
– I think I’d rather eat the soup. Not much point in dating the soup.
“Why is there music coming out of your printer?”
-
“That will be the paper jamming again!”
“In our traditional farm hotel, you are woken by the
call of the cockerel!”
–
“Very good, please tell him 9 o’clock.”
At the movies: “Sorry we’re all sold out down to the
last place.”
-
“Excellent, I’ll have the last place then.”
A guy orders at a bakery, "I'd like 19 buns please."
The baker suggests, "I think you should take 20, sir."
"Why?" asks the man, puzzled.
The baker replies, "That way, you would have one more!"
What is the difference between a soccer star and a
bank robber?
-
The bank robber goes, “Give me the money or I shoot!”
The soccer star goes, “Give me the money or I don’t shoot!”
I saw you with a new guy. Is it something serious?
-
No, we do laugh from time to time.
What happens when a snowman gets angry?
He’ll be having a meltdown until he’s down to earth again.
On a first date:
“So, what is your profession?”
“I copy keys.”
“Really? What are they doing?”
When I’m bored, I imitate everybody.
-
But that’s no way for an adult to behave.
-
But that’s no way for an adult to behave.
-
Come on, stop being stupid.
-
Come on, stop being stupid.
Job Interviewer, “Why are you wearing jogging pants?”
-
Man, “This is customary dress code where I come from.”
-
“Where do you come from?”
-
“From home.”
What boats do, when they get sick?
-
They actually go to the doc(k).
Helium walks into a bar and orders water. Bartender
apologizes, "Sorry sir but we're currently out of water." What does
Helium do?
-
It doesn't react.
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Bad Jokes
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