In the final analysis, nobody alive is completely useless
because they’re producing carbon dioxide that plants need to grow.
Break a pencil and you’ll have two pencils. Break a pen and you’ll have
Could be that Earth is a gigantic man-eating creature that somehow
managed to convince us that burying our dead in the ground is the thing to
Maybe little girls are given teddy bears to be conditioned to like their
hairy, short and fat partners when they grow up.
If you put one lasagna on top of another one, you still have just one
Will some future archaeologist dig out the Disney World and assume it’s
a temple of some bizarre mouse worshipping cult?
Putting zombies on treadmills would provide a wonderful source of green,
I myself have never been to India, China or Bangladesh. But roughly 70
percent of all my belongings have.
It is impossible to dig half of a hole.
If you were born butt first, there was a brief moment when you wore your
mom as a hat.
When a doctor takes a sickie, does he have to bring in a doctor's note
to their boss?
When we go jogging, we dress in a specific way to stop people from
thinking we are just running away from or trying to catch something.
Sleeping is everybody’s biggest addiction.
We say "ladies and gentlemen" starting with ladies first – whereas the
phrase "boys and girls" starts with boys.
How many miles did I already scrolle with my finger on the mouse wheel?
Why can’t you unselect a floor in a lift after you've pushed the button?
A bed is basically a shelf for the body.
If you have drug addicts for neighbors, every mosquito could be a dirty
Best Shower Thoughts
| Part 7
| Part 9
| New Shower Thoughts