Best Shower Thoughts | Part 3

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10
New Shower Thoughts

     
Nobody hates Mondays. Just a lot of people hate their jobs.

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Laughing at a fat guy at a gym is like laughing at an unemployed guy at a job fair.

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The most important grammar rules I know: “Sounds about right” and “Sounds about wrong”.

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I wonder what name my dog would choose for me.

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Wild animals live in a continuous state of poverty.

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Running naked is awkward and it hurts to have your privates flapping about everywhere. Is that the real reason why people invented underwear?

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Maybe Batman fights crime only at nights because if he did it during the day, he’d get funny tan lines in the face?

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I’m ready to bet that dinosaurs were similar to dogs. The huge ones were calm and relaxed while the small ones were the yappy, snappy little bastards.

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Every day, some unsuspecting person does the biggest poop on Earth for that day.

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Why don’t drivers’ licenses show blood types?

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Is the salary that I get a bribe to forget my dreams?

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 Our stomachs believe all potatoes are mashed potatoes.

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Does my dog take me for a hypocrite because I crap in the house?

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The person who proofread Hitler’s speeches was the first grammar Nazi.

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The outer Space is really just an hour away if my Toyota could make it straight up.

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How come caretaker and caregiver describe the same person?!

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When you say somebody is one in a million, then taking into account the current human population, you’re really saying there are 7 500 people exactly like him.

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Best Shower Thoughts

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 |

New Shower Thoughts

See also: Fun Facts

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