Nobody hates Mondays. Just a lot of people hate their jobs.
Laughing at a fat guy at a gym is like laughing at an unemployed guy at
a job fair.
I wonder what name my dog would choose for me.
Wild animals live in a continuous state of poverty.
Running naked is awkward and it hurts to have your privates flapping
about everywhere. Is that the real reason why people invented underwear?
Maybe Batman fights crime only at nights because if he did it during the
day, he’d get funny tan lines in the face?
I’m ready to bet that dinosaurs were similar to dogs. The huge ones were
calm and relaxed while the small ones were the yappy, snappy little
Every day, some unsuspecting person does the biggest poop on Earth for
Why don’t drivers’ licenses show blood types?
Is the salary that I get a bribe to forget my dreams?
Our stomachs believe all potatoes are mashed potatoes.
Does my dog take me for a hypocrite because I crap in the house?
The person who proofread Hitler’s speeches was the first grammar Nazi.
The outer Space is really just an hour away if my Toyota could make it
How come caretaker and caregiver describe the same person?!
When you say somebody is one in a million, then taking into account the
current human population, you’re really saying there are 7 500 people
exactly like him.
Best Shower Thoughts
| Part 7
| Part 9