Whenever four New Yorkers get into a cab together with no
arguing, a bank has just been robbed.
Confessions may be great for your soul, but they are hell for your
Yes, the early bird catches the worm, but the
second mouse gets the cheese.
Hard work pays off in the
future. Lolling on the couch pays off right now.
remember when I asked you to give me your opinion? That’s right, me neither.
Sometimes it’s time to lay on the couch and do nothing at all for two years.
If the grass is greener on the other side, fair bet is, the water bill is
The last thing I want to do is to hurt you.
But we’ll get there eventually, once I’ve gone through the entire list.
Of course you’re not stupid.
You just have bad luck when you think.
If you want to keep a true perspective of your own importance, get a dog
that will worship you and a cat that will scorn you.
My middle finger salutes you!
I’ll be there to catch you
whenever you fall. Love, the floor.
A bag of money can be a symbol not only of wealth, but also of tremendous
The only scenario where you really need a land line today is when you’re
trying to find your smartphone.
When you’re calling a woman, you need to call her twice. First time to give
her a chance to find the phone in her handbag, the second time for her to
Help a woman when she’s in trouble. She will remember you when she’s in
Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.
My wallet is like an onion. Opening it makes me cry.
be yourself. Unless you can also be a unicorn. In that case, always be a
He who laughs last is a bit of a slow thinker.
Some people's x-rays actually look much better than their photographs.
Television is a medium – anything well done is rare.
course I can keep secrets. But the people I tell them to obviously can't.
Next PartFunny Sayings