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Funny Sayings | Part 8 | Hilarious and Silly

The best first: Common sense is not so common.
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If I’m driving you crazy, please remember to put your seatbelt on.
Chocolate doesn’t ask any questions. Chocolate simply understands.
How could men understand what women want?

So often they have to watch women pluck out their eyebrows only to paint them right on again!
Take a shower with your girlfriend, they said. It would be romantic, they said. Yeah, I’ve been standing in the corner, wet and freezing, handing her the shower gel, the shampoo, the conditioner... I just hope she doesn’t start shaving her legs next.
Anyone can get a sign from above.

And it’s a good sign when that sign isn’t a roof tile.
Hangover: The revenge of the few surviving brain cells for their fallen comrades.
The true nature of a human being clearly shows when the supermarket opens a second cash desk.
Optimistic Comeback

They say money doesn’t grow on trees, but why do banks have branches then?
Funny offence:

With a face like yours, you have a good chance in a lawsuit against your parents.
Yeah, roll your eyes all you like, it won’t help you. You won’t find any brains up there.
An opportunist is the guy who drinks the water while the pessimist, the optimist and the realist are arguing about how full the glass is.
Before my first cup of coffee I hate everybody. That doesn’t change after I’ve had that coffee, but it feels much better.
I'm not lazy. I'm just highly motivated to do nothing.
Jesus loves you. Everyone else thinks you’re a great big idiot.
You may think the grass is greener on the other side, but it’s possibly because there’s more manure there!
I’m not bossy, I simply know exactly what you should be doing.
Roses are red, violets are blue, a face like yours belongs in the zoo.
I’m not reading any instructions. I just press buttons until it does what I want.
I refuse to have a battle of wits with an opponent so clearly unarmed.
When someone is being stupid:

You should really start thinking about changing your dealer!
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Funny Sayings

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