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Funny Sayings | Part 3 | Silly and Inspirational

The best first: Don’t mess with me, I know aikido and judo! And a few other Japanese words and phrases!
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If a man said he’ll fix it, he’ll fix it. There is no need to nag him every 6 months about it.

We got divorced on the grounds of religious differences. My husband thought he was God.
I’m pretty sure some people’s head is just a backup copy of their butt.
Funny Topmodel Resemblance

What to say when nature calls in a polite but understanding society?

1. Excuse me, I have a stool appointment.

2. Please excuse me while I go check the plumbing.

3. Pardon me, I have 6 pounds of boneless mass to get rid of.

4. Excuse me please, I have to go hide a treasure.

5. I'm sorry, I have to quickly disable alarm level brown.

7. Excuse me while I go on a ride on the porcelain steamer.

10. Pardon me, I must punish the porcelain.

11. Excuse me, I have to deliver Satan’s donuts.

12. Excuse me, I have to excrete.
I didn’t fall down.

I did attack the floor though.
How stupid are you?
a) very
b) A
c) B

Money alone won’t make you happy. You’ve got to own it.
What to say to a person that goes on your nerves?

I think you deserve a standing ovation … of my longest finger!
Sorry, I can’t hang out. My auntie’s cousin’s brother in law’s best friend’s accountant’s roommate’s pet goldfish died. Some other time maybe.
It is a well documented fact that your urge to poo intensifies as you are unlocking the front door.
All my life I thought air was for free.

That was until I bought a bag of crisps.
Of course you're not fat. Just grab a couple of chairs and come sit with us.
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Funny Sayings

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