How many surrealists do you need to change a lightbulb?
Two. One to
turn the chameleon, the other to sing clock-ticking to the color green.
And why do you think you’d be academically qualified for this job,
“I possess a degree of intelligence.”
Two conspiracy theorists walk into a bar.
You think it’s a
Do you know what Hercules’ wife is called?
Why, Fraucules, of course.
Who the hell is Rorschach and why did he paint so many pictures of my
I was taught by a nun with a really nasty habit.
She used to wipe her nose
I bought a new thesaurus, but it was a waste of money. It is bad.
words, it’s bad.
Schrödinger went to see his cardiologist.
The doctor said he has good news,
and bad news.
Two demons of hell who work in different departments meet up for a beer and
“Yeah, it’s really bad in my section right now, everyone’s
“Why? What happened?”
“Well, we got a hardcore gamer
the other day who died of a heart attack while playing. He wiped out half the crew with a chainsaw
before we managed to persuade him this isn’t a new level of Doom!”
Fun fact – did you know that when you take all the nerves from a human body
and align them so they’re forming a straight line, you’ll end up in jail for
a really, really long time?
“Jake, I’m searching for some GDPR specialist, do you know a good one?”
“Yeah, I do, he handled our company website brilliantly, he’s
“Fantastic! Can you give me his contact details, then?”
“… Well, no…”
I image-googled Rorschach test to see what all the fuss was about. But now
I’m shocked. How can it all be pictures of my girlfriend cheating on me with
Schrödinger's cat walks in a bar … and doesn’t.
What should I put on my tofu burger?
I need a patch for a really weird bug I’m experiencing – the quest “Find a
girlfriend” got set for me on the hardest possible level of difficulty.
Smart Jokes - Part 1
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| Part 7