It is not those who lack it, but those who have too much of it,
that will try to steal it from you. What is it? - Answer: Time.
Any mushroom can be eaten. The trick is to find those mushrooms that can be
eaten more than once.
Now that he’s dead, everyone pretends they were soooo into Stephen
Hawking.
I bet you they couldn’t even name five of his songs if
you asked them.
A public swimming pool.
Or, as I like to call it, homeopathic
urinotherapy facility.
What’s a cure for anorexia?
Pshah, it’s a piece of cake.
Chuck Norris rewrote the periodic table.
He added the element of surprise.
Do you have a cat? And are you not a fan of house chores? -
Here’s a little tip: Make your cat full of static electricity by rubbing her
with a balloon and then use a laser pointer to have her go on all your dusty
shelves and surfaces. - There you go, dusting is a chore of yesterday.
A German driver was pulled over on a Polish highway by the local police.
Polish policeman: "What’s your name, sir?"
German: "Helmut
Rauchbraucher."
Policeman: "OK. Age?"
Helmut: "53."
Policeman: "Occupation?"
Helmut: "Oh no, I’m only visiting."
Worst way to comfort a grammar Nazi? - They’re, their.
I tried to cross-breed cows and hyenas for my PhD thesis. Not such a
great idea, the result was a laughing stock for the whole university.
The adjective of quiz is quizzical, right?
