Latest Jokes 2018 for Children (8+)
How does a school differ from an insane asylum?
Question: Antonia buys 5 chocolate bars. Her friend Julie asks her for 2 of
them. How many chocolate bars does Antonia end up with?
Five. Antonia is quite a greedy girl.
An ant saw an elephant running towards him. He was afraid that the elephant
would step on him. What did the ant do?
He quickly hid behind a
tree, waited and then tripped the elephant up.
What can smell without a nose?
Teacher: Marvin, please go outside the door and stay there.
Teacher: Because your jabbering is very disruptive and nobody
wants to listen to it.
Marvin: Then perhaps you should come along
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?"
Patrick: "It was really
great mum! Today we made explosives!"
Mother: "Ooh, they do very
fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"
Patrick: "What school?"
Teacher: Patrick, you are an hour and a half late for school. What in the
Student: Sorry sir, I had to say bye to all of my pets.
Teacher: An hour and a half?!Student: Well it is quite a big ant farm…
Teacher: How do you turn a white chocolate into a dark one?
Switch off the lights.
Teacher: “Whoever can tell me some actual fact about the history of the
1700s will get an A.”
Little Johnny: “Everybody from that time is
Why did Charlie eat his homework?
The teacher said it was a piece of
Question: There’s a magical thing that begins with a T, it ends with a T and
even has T inside it?
Answer: A Teapot.
Johnny: Miss, may I go to the bathroom, please? Right now?
OK, Johnny, but tell me the alphabet first, then you can go.
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z
Teacher: Hey, what
happened to the P?
Johnny: It’s already halfway down my trousers.
Lisa ask Peter: What are you eating? Are those apple pips?
replies: Yes! And you know what? These are very special ones, they give you
knowledge and wisdom.
Lisa asks: Oh wow, can I have some please?
Peter answers: Sure, but it’s 2.50, remember, they’re special.
agrees, eats the pips and says: Hey, I can’t say that I feel any special
knowledge or wisdom!
Peter replies: Really? But now you know that pips are really just
pips and next time, you will be wise enough not to fall for a stupid trick
New Kids Jokes