Teacher cracks down on Little Johnny: “Come now,
Johnny! Admit it. You had your parents help you with the homework,
didn’t you?”
Little Johnny replies: “Absolutely not. They did it all by themselves!“
How does a school differ from an insane asylum?
-
Different phone numbers.
Question: Antonia buys 5 chocolate bars. Her friend
Julie asks her for 2 of them. How many chocolate bars does Antonia end
up with?
-
Answer: Five. Antonia is quite a greedy girl.
What is every pirate’s favorite letter?
(Everyone answers Arrr)
Yeah, you’d think it’s R, but it’s really C!
Two neighbors are chatting and one says, “You know,
Jim, you have such a teeny, tiny dog. Why the heck do you have a sign
saying ‘Beware of the dog’?”
Jim says, “Basically I don’t want anybody to stumble over him.”
An ant saw an elephant running towards him. He was
afraid that the elephant would step on him. What did the ant do?
-
He quickly hid behind a tree, waited and then tripped the elephant up.
Doctor: “Can you describe the snake that bit you?”
-
Patient: “Yes. It looked like an angry rope.
“One egg asks another egg: “Why are you so hairy?”
“’Cause I’m a kiwi.”
A lady walks into a shop in a mall and addresses the
shop assistant, “Hi. I really need a stronger pair of glasses.”
“Oh yeah you do,” says the shop assistant, “this is a bakery.”
Three doves are sitting in a tree.
-
Suddenly they spot an airplane in the distance. One nudges the other:
”Look at that! That is fast!”
-
The other looks at him: “You’d be too I if your butt was on fire.“
What can smell without a nose?
-
A fart.
Teacher: Marvin, please go outside the door and stay
there.
-
Marvin: Why?
-
Teacher: Because your jabbering is very disruptive and nobody wants to
listen to it.
-
Marvin: Then perhaps you should come along with me.
Teacher: "Patrick, you are an hour and a half late
for school. What in the world?!"
-
Student: "Sorry sir, I had to say bye to all my pets."
-
Teacher: "An hour and a half?!"
-
Student: "Well it is quite a big ant farm…" How do you turn a white chocolate into a dark
chocolate?
-
You eat it and then poop it out.
Feeling amused? Explore our
Puns section! What begins with a T, ends with a T and even has T
inside it?
-
A TeapoT.
“Mummy, could you give me two dollars for this old
man on the street?”
“Oh darling, of course, you’re so nice to think of other people. Where
is he?”
“There on the corner, selling ice cream for two dollars.”
A ten-year-old boy comes to his mom and asks her for
a snack.
“Sure thing, darling, but first, what’s the magic word?”
“Wow,” the boy shakes his head, “they really put a password on
everything these days!”
Lisa ask Peter, "What are you eating? Are those apple
pips?"
Peter replies, "Yes! And you know what? These are very special ones,
they give you knowledge and wisdom."
Lisa asks, "Oh wow, can I have some please?"
-
Peter answers, "Sure, but it’s 2.50, remember, they’re special."
-
Lisa agrees, eats the pips and says, "Hey, I can’t say that I feel any
special knowledge or wisdom!"
-
Peter smiles, "Really? But now you know that pips are really just pips
and next time, you will be wise enough not to fall for a stupid trick
like this." Next Part
Kids Jokes
