Teacher cracks down on Little Johnny: “Come now, Johnny! Admit it. You had
your parents help you with the homework, didn’t you?”
replies: “Absolutely not. They did it all by themselves!“
Little Johnny asked his mom: “Mommy, where’s Grandpa?” - Mommy
replies: “Oh, my little boy. We’ve talked about this, remember? He fell down
from a really steep ladder and now he’s in heaven.”
little Johnny, “that must have been quite a bounce!”
How does a school differ from an insane asylum? - Different phone
Question: Antonia buys 5 chocolate bars. Her friend Julie asks her for 2 of
them. How many chocolate bars does Antonia end up with? - Answer:
Five. Antonia is quite a greedy girl.
An ant saw an elephant running towards him. He was afraid that the elephant
would step on him. What did the ant do? - He quickly hid behind a
tree, waited and then tripped the elephant up.
One egg asks another egg: “Why are you so hairy?”
“’Cause I’m a
A man goes to a dog shelter and asks: “Do you have a loyal dog?”
The caretaker points: “Take that one.”
The man says: “And is
he really loyal?”
The caretaker nods: “Absolutely. I already
sold him 6 times and he always comes back.“
Three doves are sitting in a tree. - Suddenly they spot an airplane
in the distance. One nudges the other: ”Look at that! That is fast!” -
The other looks at him: “You’d be too I if your butt was on fire.“
What can smell without a nose? - A fart.
Teacher: Marvin, please go outside the door and stay there. - Marvin:
Why? - Teacher: Because your jabbering is very disruptive and nobody
wants to listen to it. - Marvin: Then perhaps you should come along
Mother: "How was school today, Patrick?"
Patrick: "It was really
great mum! Today we made explosives!"
Mother: "Ooh, they do very
fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?"
Patrick: "What school?"
Teacher: Patrick, you are an hour and a half late for school. What in the
world?! - Student: Sorry sir, I had to say bye to all of my pets. -
Teacher: An hour and a half?!Student: Well it is quite a big ant farm… - Teacher: How do you turn a white chocolate into a dark one? - Student:
Switch off the lights.
Teacher: “Whoever can tell me some actual fact about the history of the
1700s will get an A.” - Little Johnny: “Everybody from that time is
Why did Charlie eat his homework? - The teacher said it was a piece of
Question: There’s a magical thing that begins with a T, it ends with a T and
even has T inside it? - Answer: A Teapot.
Johnny: Miss, may I go to the bathroom, please? Right now? - Teacher:
OK, Johnny, but tell me the alphabet first, then you can go. - Johnny:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z - Teacher: Hey, what
happened to the P? - Johnny: It’s already halfway down my trousers.
Lisa ask Peter: What are you eating? Are those apple pips?
replies: Yes! And you know what? These are very special ones, they give you
knowledge and wisdom.
Lisa asks: Oh wow, can I have some please?
Peter answers: Sure, but it’s 2.50, remember, they’re special. Lisa
agrees, eats the pips and says: Hey, I can’t say that I feel any special
knowledge or wisdom!
Peter replies: Really? But now you know that pips are really just
pips and next time, you will be wise enough not to fall for a stupid trick
like this. Next Part