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Husband Wife Jokes | Part 6

The best first: Man: What would you do if I suddenly won the lottery?

Wife: Frankly, George, I’d just take my half and leave you.

Man: Fantastic. I won $20 yesterday. Here’s your $10 and be off with you.

And here’s another lesson in good manners: Throwing the bouquet behind you to see who’s next? Really poor taste at funerals.
I just got a new microwave for my wife. It was a good trade. I hope she will be happy with the new guy. 

Oh no – you’ve literally just missed your mother in law. Would you like some new ammo?
A friend of mine asked if he could crash on the sofa. He said he’d like to stay at my place for a couple of nights.

He’s such a naive puppy. I’ve been married for six years now. Where does he think I sleep?
Who doesn’t love waking up, looking at the person sleeping next to you and starting the day with a long, loving kiss? Apparently the airline had a different take on these things.
My wife was feeling awfully sick when I got home from work. It was so bad I had to carry her to the kitchen so she could prepare dinner.
Wife: Phillip, you have no clothes on, and you're oiled. Why?! Please explain yourself.
Husband: Well, you did nag me. You said that I never glisten!

My wife had a terrible accident today with my car.
OMG, is she hurt?
Not yet. She locked herself in the bathroom.
That awkward moment when you realize that marital vows have robbed you of your right to a fair share of blanket.

First Part
 Husband and Wife Jokes

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

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