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Husband Wife Jokes | Part 6

Best first: Man: What would you do if I suddenly won the lottery?

Wife: Frankly, George, I’d just take my half and leave you.

Man: Fantastic. I won $20 yesterday. Here’s your $10 and be off with you.

     
And here’s another lesson in good manners: Throwing the bouquet behind you to see who’s next? Really poor taste at funerals.
I just got a new microwave for my wife. It was a good trade. I hope she will be happy with the new guy. 

Oh no – you’ve literally just missed your mother in law. Would you like some new ammo?
A friend of mine asked if he could crash on the sofa. He said he’d like to stay at my place for a couple of nights.

He’s such a naive puppy. I’ve been married for six years now. Where does he think I sleep?
Wife tells her husband over the phone: “Sorry darling, but we have to go our separate ways.”
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After a moment of silence, the husband replies, “OK, but you hang up first.”
Who doesn’t love waking up, looking at the person sleeping next to you and starting the day with a long, loving kiss? Apparently the airline had a different take on these things.
My wife was feeling awfully sick when I got home from work. It was so bad I had to carry her to the kitchen so she could prepare dinner.
Wife: Phillip, you have no clothes on, and you're oiled. Why?! Please explain yourself.
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Husband: Well, you did nag me. You said that I never glisten!

My wife had a terrible accident today with my car.
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OMG, is she hurt?
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Not yet. She locked herself in the bathroom.
That awkward moment when you realize that marital vows have robbed you of your right to a fair share of blanket.

First Part
 Husband and Wife Jokes

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6



 
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