I am coughing and my nose is stuck.
-
Internet diagnosis: I am 26
weeks pregnant!
Why isn't the military accepting karate pros?
-
Because when they
salute they might kill themselves.
Dolphins are highly intelligent animals. American scientists proved that
after only a brief time in captivity, they are able to train humans to stand
at the edge of the pool and toss them bits of fish.
![Hilariously Escalated Poem](https://short-funny.com/jokes/hilarious-jokes-5.png)
“Oh no, Roger, why did you two split up?”
-
“She’s a liar and a
cheat! She said she was the whole night at her sister’s!”
-
“So? Maybe
she was.”
-
“Yeah, no way. I was the whole night at her sister’s!”
We had a first date. When I brought her to her door, she suggested, “Do
you want to come up for a cup of coffee?”
-
I said I don't really
like coffee.
-
She winked at me and said that it’s OK because she
doesn’t have any coffee anyway.
-
I just left. I hate it when
people are this illogical.
"Granny, why do you read obituaries every day?
-
Don't worry
grandson. I just want to see who is single again.
A well-known hunter was once asked if it was true that the jungle predators
will never attack a person carrying a lit torch.
“That is true,” he
responded, “but it does depend at what speed you are carrying that torch.”
A glass of Nutella has about 9870 calories. But I don’t care. I never
eat the glass anyway.
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