What day does the egg fear the most?
Why were the Stars Wars released in the sequence of 4,5,6,1,2,3?
Because they were directed by Yoda.
That awkward moment when your entire Math class is discussing whether
the result is 15 or 16 and your answer is -1053
A guy wakes up in the morning and tells his wife: “Wow darling, you won’t
believe what happened. I dreamt I was forced to eat a live sheep and now I
can’t see my pillow anywhere!”
The wife answers, “The pillow’s fine,
it’s lying right there on the floor, but I have been calling our dog in vain
for the past 5 minutes!”
The person who thought it’s a good idea to put the light switch outside of
the bathroom clearly didn’t have any siblings.
My teacher asked me to characterize myself in 5 words.
I played our wedding video backwards yesterday. It really cheered me up to
see how I take the ring off my wife’s finger, get out of the church and go
drinking with my best friends.
Driving a sports car and sticking to the speed limit is like going to
McDonalds’ and having just the salad.
Police officer: “Sir, I don’t understand. You lost the credit card a year
ago, why are you reporting it now?”
Guy: “The thief wasn’t spending
nearly as much as my wife used to…”
Police officer: “But why report it
Guy: “I think the thief’s wife got hold of it now.”
of the Hilarious Jokes