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One Liners | Part 2

The best first: My wife’s driving test went surprisingly well yesterday. She got 7 out of 12. The other 5 managed to run to safety.
 
     
One Liner Jokes

Why are ghost such bad liars? Because they are easy to see through.

I stole my friend’s wheelchair. Guess who is comes crawling back to me?!
Husband: Wow, honey, you look really different today. Did you do something to your hair?
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Wife: Michael, I’m over here!
Man to his wife:
'
I’d never say you’re fat! You’re just a bit more visible.
A pig stands in front of an electric socket: “Oh no, who put you into that wall?!”
 I saw this sweet poor old lady fall down the stairs and hurt herself. At least I assume she was poor because I didn’t find more than 3.50 in her wallet.
Here, I bought you a calendar. Your days are numbered now.
Where do fish sleep?
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 In the RiverBed.
Talk is cheap, yeah? Have you ever talked to a lawyer?!
If I got 50 cents for every failed math exam, I’d have $ 6.30 now.
I called the hospital but the line was dead.
A woman complains to her mother, “I had this big fight with my husband Joe and at the end he just told me to go to hell.”

Mother frowns, “Oh, and so you came to me, huh?”
I heard women love a man in uniform. Can’t wait to start working at McDonalds.
Do you know a tree’s favorite drink?
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Root beer!
Do I lose when the police officer says papers and I say scissors?
What did one plate say to his friend?
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Tonight, dinner’s on me!

Two invisible men meet. One says to the other: “Hey dude, long time no see!”
A woman sees an angler at a lake, “And, are they biting?”
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The angler replies, “Only if they are provoked.”
Next Part
Best One Liners

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4




 
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