I have clean conscience. I haven’t used it once till now.
The best thing about good old days is that we were neither good, nor old.
Dentist: "You need a crown."
Patient: "Finally someone who
It’s all a matter of viewpoint. 250 lbs here on Earth is 94.5 lbs on
Mercury. Fat? No. I’m just not on the right planet.
Chocolate is the best investment. You buy 100 g – you gain 2 kg!
A cannibal came home late to family dinner. He got the cold shoulder.
I do say no to drugs. It’s just they’re not so good at listening.
How to make a hot dog stand?
Take its chair away.
You can’t fire me! Slaves can only be sold!!
I will never forget my dad’s last words: “Will you stop playing with the
Do I look like a suppository?
So why am I expected to crawl up my
I don’t think it would work between us, Larry. You know, I’m a Libra and
you’re an pig.
“The trouble with internet quotes is that it’s extremely hard to ascertain
their true origin.”
Martin Luther King
Living with a woman is a lot like farting. If you push too much, you’re
really going to wish you hadn’t.
That awkward moment when you enthusiastically try to tickle somebody who
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