One Liners | Part 3

The best first: I met two guys wearing matching clothing. So I asked them if they were gay. They promptly arrested me.
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One Liners - Very funny

One frog to the other: Oh man, it’s starting to rain. Let’s hop into the water before we get wet

I got flashed at the freeway yesterday.
At first I thought I’d just had an idea.
Funny Tofu Recipe

Do you know this joke where all the idiots say no?
Life is a bit like soccer in a way. You can either use your head, or a good, swift kick.
I just met a great looking blonde girl with long legs. She’s babysitter. Does anybody know where I can quickly get a child for today?
“Why do you look so sad?”
“I wanted to drown my worries but my wife didn’t want to go in the water.”
An Eskimo kid loads his water gun, runs out, aims at his friends … and then shouts: “Ah heck, jammed again!”
I heard that it is easier to find a girlfriend when you have things in common.
So girls, I like to breath.
You really are the most jealous woman I know.
Oh, so you know lots of other women, do you?!
My car horn now sounds like gunshots. People move out of the way much faster recently.
If we shouldn’t eat at night, why do they put a light in the fridge?

“Mom, can I play with grandpa?”
“No, you just leave him hanging until the police comes.”

What is agony?
You are a one-armed man hanging off a cliff. Suddenly your butt starts to itch.
Famous last words of a postman: What a lovely dog you have!
I had to quit my job at the helium plant. I couldn’t tolerate it anymore that people speak to me in such a voice.
My wife accused me for being a transvestite
So I packed up her things and left.
Why I don’t trust joggers? Well, they are usually the ones to find the dead bodies.
I hate it when I run out of toilet paper and I have to make the trip to the grocery store in really small steps.
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Best One Liners

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

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