Bob: "Holy schmoozes, I just fell off a 30 ft ladder."
Jim: "No way man, are you okay?"
Bob: "Yeah, luckily I was just on the first step."
When I look at chocolate, I hear two voices in my
head.
The first one says: “You need to eat that chocolate.”
The other voice goes: “You heard. Eat the chocolate.”
Are you two twins?
No, why do you ask?
Because mommy dressed you both in the same clothes.
OK that’s enough, your driver’s license please.
Insurance clerk: "Where were you born, sir?"
Man: "In the United States."
Insurance clerk: "OK, and which part?"
Man: "My entire body."
My wife is a bit weird. She always starts her
speeches with “Michael, are you listening to me?”
Just came home from a training session. Two hours on
the treadmill did me really good. If only I could somehow stop the
constant beeping and the irritated comments of the cashier.
Do you want to hear a joke backwards?
Yes…
Very good, start laughing.
The police stops a computer hardware engineer: “Your
light isn’t working. You have to get off your bike.”
IT guy: “I tried that but the light still isn’t working.”
What goes through every village, over mountains,
crosses rivers and deserts and yet never moves?
-
A road.
Bus driver to passenger: Don’t you want to sit down?
Passenger: No, I am in a hurry.
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Clean Jokes
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