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Funny Clean Jokes | Part 2

The best first: What do you name a bear without an ear? Answer: B
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A man goes to the lawyer: “What is your fee?”

Lawyer says: “1000 US dollars for 3 questions.”

Man: “Wow - so much! Isn’t it a bit expensive?”

Lawyer: “Yes, what is your third question?”
Bob: "Holy schmoozes, I just fell off a 30 ft ladder."

Jim: "No way man, are you okay?"

Bob: "Yeah, luckily I was just on the first step."
What do you call a typo on a tombstone?

A grave mistake.
When I look at chocolate, I hear two voices in my head.

The first one says: “You need to eat that chocolate.”

The other voice goes: “You heard. Eat the chocolate.”
Are you two twins?

No, why do you ask?

Because mommy dressed you both in the same clothes.

OK that’s enough, your driver’s license please.
Funny Consistent Girl

Two years ago I asked the girl of my dreams on a date, today I asked her to marry me.

She said no, on both occasions.
“What are you doing in the fridge?”
“The recipe said, rest in the fridge for 1 hour.”
Insurance clerk: "Where were you born, sir?"

Man: "In the United States."

Insurance clerk: "OK, and which part?"

Man: "My entire body."
My wife is a bit weird. She always starts her speeches  with “Michael, are you listening to me?”
Just came home from a training session. Two hours on the treadmill did me really good. If only I could somehow stop the constant beeping and the irritated comments of the cashier.
Does your dog bite?


Oh, so how do you feed him?
A boy breaks an old vase at a rich uncle‘s house. The uncle gets extremely angry and yells: “Do you even know how old the vase was? It was from the 17th century!” The boy sagged in relief: “Oh, good that it wasn’t new.”
Do you want to hear a joke backwards?


Very good, start laughing.
 Why couldn’t Mrs. Dracula sleep properly?
Because of Dracula’s coffin.
The police stops a computer hardware engineer: “Your light isn’t working. You have to get off your bike.”

IT guy: “I tried that but the light still isn’t working.”
Bus driver to passenger: Don’t you want to sit down?

Passenger: No, I am in a hurry.
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Clean Jokes

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