What birthday gift will most offend a state employee?
A motion detector.
Pamela says on her 16th birthday: Daddy, don’t you think I’m old enough to
get my drivers’ licence?
Father replies: You – yes. Our car – no.
All the best for your birthday. May you live to be at least 95 and die happy
and satisfied in a warm bed, shot by a jealous husband.
Signs you are getting older: You have to scroll down a lot before hitting
your age in an online form.
Little Johnny: Mummy, when was I born?
Mummy: 20th of April.
Little Johnny: Wow, what a coincidence. It is the exact date when I have my
You’ve really made it if you become more than 100 years old. Statistically,
there are very few people over 100 that die.
I asked my wife what she’d like for her birthday.
She said that
since it’s a round birthday, she’d love something that goes from zero to 200
in 20 seconds.
No problem, I got her a nice weight scale. But
really, there’s just no pleasing that woman!
Is it getting warmer here or is it all the candles on your birthday cake?
Birthday Jokes and Birthday Wishes