What birthday gift will most offend a state employee?
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A motion detector.
Pamela says on her 16th birthday: Daddy, don’t you think I’m old enough to
get my drivers’ licence?
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Father replies: You – yes. Our car – no.
All the best for your birthday. May you live to be at least 95 and die happy
and satisfied in a warm bed, shot by a jealous husband.
Signs you are getting older: You have to scroll down a lot before hitting
your age in an online form.
Little Johnny: Mummy, when was I born?
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Mummy: 20th of April.
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Little Johnny: Wow, what a coincidence. It is the exact date when I have my
birthday.
You’ve really made it if you become more than 100 years old. Statistically,
there are very few people over 100 that die.
I asked my wife what she’d like for her birthday.
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She said that
since it’s a round birthday, she’d love something that goes from zero to 200
in 20 seconds.
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No problem, I got her a nice weight scale. But
really, there’s just no pleasing that woman!
Is it getting warmer here or is it all the candles on your birthday cake?
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Birthday Jokes and Birthday Wishes
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