You don’t get smarter when you become older. There just
aren’t so many stupid things left that you haven’t done yet.
The problem with getting older is you get dry dreams and wet farts.
Father: Happy birthday my boy! And what would you like as a gift?
Son: A dog.
Father: I’m sorry, but you know that’s not possible.
then I want to be the father for one day and you the son.
Ok, no problem.
Son: Fantastic. Son, get dressed, we’ll go to the
animal shelter to look for a nice puppy.
You’re not getting old. You’re getting classy.
It's my wife's birthday on Monday. I asked her last month what she would
like to get as a present. 'Oh, I don't know,' she told me, 'anything with
diamonds would be lovely.” I bet she’s going to love her brand new set of
Q: What do you give a Tasmanian devil for his birthday?
A: I don't know,
but you'd better hope he likes it!
calendars ladies and gentlemen . . . my birthday is coming!
Birthday Jokes and Birthday Wishes