Thanksgiving Jokes for Senior Citizens
“Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape … to portray Santa Claus.”
– Melanie White
There’s a very big
family gathering at Thanksgiving. Everybody is happy, laughing, checking
their phones. Suddenly, Grandma starts laughing.
“Why are you laughing
Granny?”
“Well, it just occurred
to me that you’re all here because your granddad and I didn't have any
internet back in the day!”
The family is sitting
around Thanksgiving dinner table, but everybody is checking out their cell
phones.
“My oh my. All this
technology. I wish we could have one Thanksgiving without any technology,”
grumbles Grandma.
Little Johnny smiles and
says, "OK Granny, fine. I’ll hand in my cell phone if you hand in your
pacemaker!"
What smells the best at dinner on Thanksgiving?
The
family dog’s nose.
What would mothers most like to make on Thanksgiving dinner?
Good restaurant reservations.
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Tamara.
Tamara who?
Tamara the feeding frenzy starts all over again, yay!“
I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited
everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then
I killed them and took their land.”
– Jon Stewart
If the Pilgrims were still alive today, what would they be
celebrated for the most?
Their age.
Having braved such long journeys, having overcome so many hardships
together, the Pilgrims’ bonds strengthened and they all became pretty good
Palgrims.
What can never ever be eaten for Thanksgiving dinner?
Thanksgiving breakfast.
What happened the first time one of the settlers tried to write
favor instead of favour?
He was attacked by a Pilgrammar nazi.
What do you get when you cross an octopus with a turkey?
Finally
enough drumsticks for everybody at Thanksgiving.
Why would you never get away with mischief at Thanksgiving table?
Because the potatoes are keeping their eyes peeled.
You think you’re crazy about Thanksgiving?
You’ve got nothing on the
turkeys. When Thanksgiving approaches, they literally lose their heads!
What do turkeys and women have in common?
A lot of guys are only interested in their breasts.
What is the best Thanksgiving cookie?
A Thanksgiving cookie you
baked with May-flour.
What do jazzy people put on their potatoes at Thanksgiving?
Groovy.
What happens when you’re too harsh on the cranberries and make
them sad?
They turn into blueberries.
When do you serve vegan vitarian matcha-tea-flavored
turkey-shaped tofu-loaf?
At Pranksgiving.
“Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings, one by one, as each
relative goes home.” – Melanie White
Thanksgiving Jokes - Part 1 |
Part 2 |
Part 3 |
Part 4
