It always takes two to create trouble in a marriage.
and the mother-in-law.
I sometimes feel like the 5th wheel in my family.
course, is the steering wheel.
What is black, cool, and stands in a forest? - A deer in a leather
Why has no skeleton ever jumped from a really tall building? - They
ain’t got the balls.
Why don’t fish play basketball? - They have issues with the net.
I can only handle 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why (y).
What does a traffic warden do when he wins a million dollars in the lottery?
- He buys himself a crossing and becomes self-employed.
What do you give a pig when it’s poorly? A good oink-ment!
Save the forests!! - Eat more beavers!!!
I met Bruce Lee’s vegetarian brother today.
His name is Brocko Lee.
Why can’t fish cry? - Because they don’t have eyebrows.
What is white, stands in front of the stairs, and can’t go up? - A
What do polar bears eat for breakfast? Frosted flakes.
Why are the North Koreans the best at geometry?
Because they’ve got
a Supreme Ruler.
Why didn’t the toilet paper make it across the road?
He met with too
many cracks on the way.
Thomas says to John: “You know, it’s a good thing we aren’t Mexicans.” -
John is puzzled: “What? Why?” - Thomas explains: “Because we don’t
know a word of Spanish.”
What tea is it not a good idea to drink? - TNT.
I really dislike the constant advertisement from the municipality that
always sticks under my screen wiper.
What happened on the 1.1.1111? - A new year started.
Why is it pointless to play hide and seek with mountain ranges? - They
What is yellow and kills you if you get it in the eyes? - A school
A man goes to the doctor and says: “Doctor I swallowed a key. Can you please
get it out of my belly?” - The doctor asks: “When did you swallow
it?” - “About 3 years ago.” - “Really? Why are you coming this
late?!” - “Well… I lost my spare key.”
An exclamation mark look at a question mark appraisingly, “Hmmm, nice
”What did Jasmin rice say to Asian vegetables? - Don't you wok away
What brand of car does an Egg drive? _ A Yolkswagen
What would you call a camel that has no hump? - Humphrey.
What’s the difference between a wasp and a fly? - A wasp can fly, but
a fly can’t wasp.
Why is there a donut sitting at the dentist’s office? - It’s there to
get a filling.
What kind of cake is the most popular one in cake shops? Answer: “This
And the second most popular? Answer: “No, no – that one,
right next to it!”
What is black and white and sits on a swing? - A swinguine.
Why do fish make such lousy tennis players? - They’re afraid of coming
close to the net.
What is white and hides behind a tree? - A shy milk.
Are insecticides good for mosquitos?" [yes] Not at all, it kills
“What to call a bear who’s lost all its teeth? - A gummy bear!”