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New Dad Jokes 2018 | 2019

The best first: What brand of car does an Egg drive?
A Yolkswagen
 New Dad jokes

Fresh Dad Jokes

Why don’t fish play basketball?
They have issues with the net.
I can only handle 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why (y).

What do you call an egg that doesn’t believe in Santa Claus but agrees there is some magic in Christmas?
What do you give a pig when it’s poorly? A good oink-ment!
I met Bruce Lee’s vegetarian brother today.
His name is Brocko Lee.
Why can’t fish cry?
Because they don’t have eyebrows.
Son: I’m really sorry I did it, dad.
Dad: Well, son, you know that now I must pun-ish you.
What do polar bears eat for breakfast? Frosted flakes.
Why are the North Koreans the best at geometry?
Because they’ve got a Supreme Ruler.
Dad, I’m done!
Hi Done, I’m dad.
Why didn’t the toilet paper make it across the road?
He met with too many cracks on the way.
Dad: I’m such a great cook, even the smoke alarm siren gets all excited.

What tea is it not a good idea to drink?
Why is it pointless to play hide and seek with mountain ranges?
They peak.
What did Jasmin rice say to Asian vegetables?
Don't you wok away from me!
What would you call a camel that has no hump?
What’s the difference between a wasp and a fly?
A wasp can fly, but a fly can’t wasp.
Why is there a donut sitting at the dentist’s office?
It’s there to get a filling.
What kind of cake is the most popular one in cake shops?
Answer: “This one!“

And the second most popular?
Answer: “No, no – that one, right next to it!”

Dad Jokes

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | New Dad Jokes

See also: Bad Jokes

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