Fresh Dad Jokes
Why don’t fish play basketball?
They have issues with the net.
I can only handle 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why (y).
What do you call an egg that doesn’t believe in Santa Claus but agrees there
is some magic in Christmas?
What do you give a pig when it’s poorly? A good oink-ment!
I met Bruce Lee’s vegetarian brother today.
His name is Brocko Lee.
Why can’t fish cry?
Because they don’t have eyebrows.
Son: I’m really sorry I did it, dad.
Dad: Well, son, you know that
now I must pun-ish you.
What do polar bears eat for breakfast? Frosted flakes.
Why are the North Koreans the best at geometry?
Because they’ve got
a Supreme Ruler.
Dad, I’m done!
Hi Done, I’m dad.
Why didn’t the toilet paper make it across the road?
He met with too
many cracks on the way.
Dad: I’m such a great cook, even the smoke alarm siren gets all excited.
What tea is it not a good idea to drink?
Why is it pointless to play hide and seek with mountain ranges?
What did Jasmin rice say to Asian vegetables?
Don't you wok away
What would you call a camel that has no hump?
What’s the difference between a wasp and a fly?
A wasp can fly, but
a fly can’t wasp.
Why is there a donut sitting at the dentist’s office?
It’s there to
get a filling.
What kind of cake is the most popular one in cake shops?
And the second most popular?
Answer: “No, no – that one,
right next to it!”
New Dad Jokes
See also: Bad Jokes