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New Dad Jokes 2018

Best first: What brand of car does an Egg drive?
_
A Yolkswagen
    
 New Dad jokes

Fresh Dad Jokes

 
Why don’t fish play basketball?
-
They have issues with the net.
I can only handle 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why (y).

What do you call an egg that doesn’t believe in Santa Claus but agrees there is some magic in Christmas?
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Eggnostic.
What do you give a pig when it’s poorly? A good oink-ment!
I met Bruce Lee’s vegetarian brother today.
 
His name is Brocko Lee.
Why can’t fish cry?
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Because they don’t have eyebrows.
Son: I’m really sorry I did it, dad.
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Dad: Well, son, you know that now I must pun-ish you.
What do polar bears eat for breakfast? Frosted flakes.
Why are the North Koreans the best at geometry?
 
Because they’ve got a Supreme Ruler.
Dad, I’m done!
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Hi Done, I’m dad.
Why didn’t the toilet paper make it across the road?
 
He met with too many cracks on the way.
Dad: I’m such a great cook, even the smoke alarm siren gets all excited.

What tea is it not a good idea to drink?
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TNT.
Why is it pointless to play hide and seek with mountain ranges?
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They peak.
What did Jasmin rice say to Asian vegetables?
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Don't you wok away from me!
What would you call a camel that has no hump?
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Humphrey.
What’s the difference between a wasp and a fly?
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A wasp can fly, but a fly can’t wasp.
Why is there a donut sitting at the dentist’s office?
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It’s there to get a filling.
What kind of cake is the most popular one in cake shops?
Answer: “This one!“

And the second most popular?
Answer: “No, no – that one, right next to it!”


Dad Jokes

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | New Dad Jokes

See also: Bad Jokes



 
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