Bad Dad Jokes | Part 2

 

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What did I do when I landed in Iraq by mistake?
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Iran.

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Stairs cannot be trusted. They’re always UP to something.

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Working in a crematorium, you can never urn a living.

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I like little people, and little people like me. They kinda look up to me.

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How do you make holy water?
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Freeze it into ice, then drill in some holes.

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Problems sleeping? Cut the legs of your bed. You'll sleep deeper.

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What is 5q + 5q?

[10q]

You're welcome!

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What is invisible and smells of carrots?

A little bunny’s fart.

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Reporter interviews a man: “Sir, you’ve lived next to this highway for 20 years, do you feel that it has somehow influenced you?”
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The man: “NOOooooo, NOOoooo, NOOooo…”

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How do you recognize a gynecologist?
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He usually wears his watch closer to his elbow.

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Did you hear the joke about the elephant in the elevator?
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No? Me neither, I took the stairs.

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A single glance tells me if somebody is lying. It’s the fact that they’re horizontal that gives it away.

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Did you know that there’s not a single canary on Canary Islands?
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And did you know that the same holds for the Virgin Islands?
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Really, not a single canary.

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What is the worst combination of two sicknesses?
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Diarrhea and Alzheimer. You’re running, but you don’t know where.

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Why don’t teddy bears ever really eat at their picnics? - Because they’re already stuffed.

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Dad Jokes Part 1 | Part 2 | New Dad Jokes
See also: Best Puns | Bad Jokes

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