Bad Dad Jokes | Part 2

A very good one first: Do you know the most important words that could open a lot of doors in your life?
Push and Pull.
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Funny Dad jokes

What did I do when I landed in Iraq by mistake?
Stairs cannot be trusted. They’re always UP to something.
Working in a crematorium, you can never urn a living.
I like little people, and little people like me. They kinda look up to me.
How do you make holy water?
Freeze it into ice, then drill in some holes.
Problems sleeping? Cut the legs of your bed. You'll sleep deeper.
What is 5q + 5q?


You're welcome!
What is invisible and smells of carrots?

A little bunny’s fart.
Reporter interviews a man: “Sir, you’ve lived next to this highway for 20 years, do you feel that it has somehow influenced you?”
The man: “NOOooooo, NOOoooo, NOOooo…”
How do you recognize a gynecologist?
He usually wears his watch closer to his elbow.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant in the elevator?
No? Me neither, I took the stairs.
A single glance tells me if somebody is lying. It’s the fact that they’re horizontal that gives it away.
Did you know that there’s not a single canary on Canary Islands?
And did you know that the same holds for the Virgin Islands?
Really, not a single canary.
What is the worst combination of two sicknesses?
Diarrhea and Alzheimer. You’re running, but you don’t know where.
Why don’t teddy bears ever really eat at their picnics? - Because they’re already stuffed.
Bad Dad Joke
Dad Jokes Part 1 | Part 2 | New Dad Jokes
See also: Best Puns | Bad Jokes

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