I find following jokes very easy to memorize
My wife divorced me recently because I’m a compulsive gambler. All I
can think about now is how to win her back.
Yesterday I learned that 20 piranhas can strip all flesh off a man
within 15 minutes.
-
Unfortunately, I also lost my job at the local swimming pool.
My wife whispered in my ear today that she’s not wearing any
underwear. Oh boy, now she’s already growing forgetful.
Darling, I think the new dryer is shrinking my clothes.”
“No, sweetie, that was the fridge.”
Doctor: Hello, did you come to see
me with an eye problem?
Patient: Wow, yes, how can you tell?
Doctor: Because you came in through the window instead of the
door.“
What is invisible and smells of worms?
-
A bird’s fart.
Why did my washing machine stop pumping out water?
-
And more importantly, where is my hamster?
A wife goes to consult a psychiatrist about her husband: “My husband
is acting so weird. He drinks his morning coffee and then he goes
and eats the mug! He only leaves the handle!”
Psychiatrist: “Yes, that is weird. The handle is the best part.“
Say “Happiness” with a thick French accent.
Guest at a restaurant: “I refuse to eat this roast beef. Please call
the manager! “
Waiter: “That’s no use. He won’t eat it either.”
Patient: Oh Doctor, I’m starting to forget things.
-
Doctor: Since when have you had this condition?
-
Patient: What condition?
hat bizarre
moment when you pick up your car from the garage and you realize that
the breaks are still not working, but they made your horn louder.
What animal has five legs?
-
A
pitbull returning from a playground.
Wife, “Honey, soon there will be 3 of us here! Isn’t that great?”
-
Husband, “Oh darling, that is simply wonderful!!!”
-
Wife, “I’m so happy you react that way! I did tell my mom you won’t
mind her moving in!”
What makes fat male penguins such a hit with penguin females?
-
They sure know how to break the ice.
“Waiter, the steak smells very strongly of liquor!”
-
The waiter backs up 3 steps and asks, “How’s that now?”
Boy comes up to his father, all angry, "Dad, you remember how you told
me to put a potato in my swimming trunks? How you said it would
impress the girls?"
Father looks up, smiling, "Yeah, did it
work?"
The boy screams, "You could have mentioned that the
potato goes in the front!"
A chubbier woman: Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of
them all?
-
Mirror: “Kindly move aside. I can’t see anything.”
Best Short Jokes
Part 1 |
Part 2 |
Part 3 |
Part 4 |
Part 5
