Funniest Short Jokes - Part 2 (Just Hilarious)

Best first: The teacher growls at Little Johnny, “Is that bubble gum in your mouth?! In the trash can! Right now!”
Little Johnny, “The bubble gum too?”

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I bet you find those jokes hilarious once you read them

Funny Question differnce between a snowman and a snowwoman
Waiter, there’s a fly twitching in my soup!”
“And what do you expect for the price? A ballet?!”

A dung beetle goes into a bar and asks, "Yo, is this stool taken?"

Why is women’s soccer so rare?
It’s quite hard to find enough women willing to wear the same outfit.

What do politicians and diapers have in common?
Both should be changed regularly, and both for the same reason.

“Boss, our product tastes horrible.”

“Just write Vegan on it.”
A teenager was picking up his girlfriend. Her dad looked at him very sternly and said, "I want her home by midnight, young man!"
The teenager said, "What do you mean? You already own her home!"

Two friends are talking:

My doctor told me I must stop playing football.
What?! Is he sure? Did he examine you properly?
Not really. But he did see me playing.
You could view the huge cross on the cover of the Holy Bible as a bigtime spoiler…
What do you get when you crossbreed a dog and a white shark?
Trouble with the postman.

A son asks his mother: “Mom, the kids are laughing at me, they say my teeth are too long!”
Mother replies: “Oh shush, now you’ve scratched the whole floor again!”

Can I tell you a good time travel joke?

You didn't like it.32.

Man: “Will you marry me?”
Woman: “No.”
2 hours of uncomfortable silence in the hot air balloon.
 “Daddy, what is an alcoholic?”
“Do you see those 4 trees, son? An alcoholic would see 8 trees.”
“Um, Dad – there are only 2 trees.”
How do you rob a snowman?
With a hairdryer.
What is sticky and brown?
A stick!
A man goes to the lawyer: “What is your fee?”

Lawyer says: “1000 US dollars for 3 questions.”

Man: “Wow - so much! Isn’t it a bit expensive?”

Lawyer: “Yes, what is your third question?”
Two blind dudes are fighting really viciously. How do you stop them?
You shout, “I’m betting on the dude with the knife!”
It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.
How do you know the ocean greets you?

It waves.
  Next: Part 3 (LOL)
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

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