Guest at a restaurant: “I refuse to eat this roast beef. Please call the
Waiter: “That’s no use. He won’t eat it either.”
I thought I’d tell you a good time travel joke – but you didn't like it.
So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we’re having a baby. For
instance my name, address and telephone number!
“You are so kind, funny and beautiful.”
“Oh come on. You just
want to get me to bed.”
“And smart, too!”
Q: What do politicians and diapers have in common?
A: Both should be changed regularly, and both for the same reason.
I’m selling my talking parrot. Why? Because yesterday, the bastard tried
to sell me.
I was picking up my girl. Her dad looked at me very sternly and said, "I
want her home by midnight, young man!"
I said, "What do you mean?
You already own her home!"
Do you know why women aren’t allowed in space?
To avoid scenarios
like: "Houston, we have a problem!"
"What is the problem?"
"Yeah, great, pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about!"
Doctor: “Can you describe the snake that bit you?”
Patient: “Yes. It looked like an angry rope. “
Next PartFunniest jokes
of all times