Contact Privacy
 

Top Jokes | Part 4

The best first: 53. When my wife starts to sing I always go out and do some garden work so our neighbors can see there's no domestic violence going on.


54.

Patient: Doctor help me please, every time I drink a cup of coffee I get this intense stinging in my eye.
 -
Doctor: I suggest you remove the spoon before drinking.

55.

Men 1845: I just killed a buffalo.

Men 1952: I just fixed the roof.

Men 2017: I just shaved my legs.
56.

How can you tell your acne is really starting to get out of hand?
-
The blind start reading your face.
57.

I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent.

So I said, “Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?”

One of them snarled at me, “It’s Wales, dumbo!”

So I corrected myself, “Oh, right, so are you two whales from Ireland?”

That’s about as far as I remember.
59.

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 7 years in a row now.
60.

The inventor of AutoCorrect is a stupid mass hole. He can fake right off.

61.

A naked women robbed a bank. Nobody could remember her face.

62.

Mama kangaroo is jumping along the bush. Suddenly, a small penguin peeks out of her pouch, vomits and says, “Damn this student exchange!”
63.

Where do we get virgin wool from?
-
Ugly sheep.
64.

Doctor: “Well - Mrs. Smith, it would seem that you're pregnant.”
-
Mrs. Smith: “Sweet Jesus, that's wonderful, I'm pregnant?!”
-
Doctor: “I only said that it seems so. Here's our weight loss brochure.”
65.

Why is women’s soccer so rare?
-
It’s quite hard to find enough women willing to wear the same outfit.
66.

Wife calls her mother: "Today I fought so much with my husband. I am coming to live with you again.
-
Mother: No. He should pay for his mistake. I am coming to live with you.
67.

I was making Russian tea. Unfortunately I cannot fish the teabag out of the vodka bottle.
68.

“Waiter, the steak is smelling very strongly of liquor!” - The waiter backs up 3 steps and asks, “How’s that now?

Next Part
Funniest jokes of all times

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10

See also: New jokes




 
 Do you know a good joke?
Please submit it here:



Security question:
What do you see on the pictrues?






 
UP to the top of the page
 
Press Ctrl + D on your keyboard (Mac: Command + D) to add short-funny.com to your bookmarks.

© Copyright Short-Funny.com