Best Short Puns

The best funny pun first: I got very lonely lately, so I bought some shares.
It's much nicer having some company.
Our most popular catergories:

Short Hilarious Puns

Wherever I go, I’m greeted with much warmth.
Derek, 53, Fireman
Best pun
I Googled "how to start a wildfire".

I got 48,500 matches.
How many Mexicans are necessary to screw in a light bulb?
Only Juan.
It’s not nice making fun of fat people.
They’ve got enough on their plates as it is.
Cannibals aren’t very sociable. They’re all fed up with people.
This gravity joke is getting a bit old, but I fall for it every time.
Horse Pun

I was hoping to steal some leftovers from the party but I guess my plans were foiled.
Nurse to a doctor: Doctor, here’s your list of heart, liver and kidney donors. I already sorted them alphabetically.
Doctor: Excellent job. Seriously well organ-ized.
I was recently diagnosed with color-blindness. It came out of the green.
What would I think if you're becoming a vegetarian?
 I would think that’s a big missed steak.
Why did the banana have to go to the doctor?
It wasn't peeling too well.
Sure, I drink brake fluid. But I can stop anytime, no problem!
A group of termites marches into a saloon and ask: “Is the bar tender here?”
Why was the chef arrested?
He was beating the eggs.
Apparently taking a day off is not something you should do when you work for a calendar company.
If a wild pig kills you, does it mean you’ve been boared to death?

What was the football coach yelling at the vending machine?
“Gimme my quarter back!!!”
Best Puns Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

See also: New Puns | Dad Jokes

 Do you know a good joke or something funny?
Please submit it here:

Security question:
What do you see on the pictrues?


Contact | Privacy