New Chuck Norris Jokes

The newest first: When Chuck Norris lies, the truth decides it might have actually been wrong.
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New Chuck Norris Jokes

Fresh Chuck Norris Jokes for the year 2023 / 2024!

A very long time ago, Chuck Norris gave the Earth a good kick.
It is still spinning.
Chuck Norris uses a summer blanket. In the winter!
When the police stop Chuck Norris, the police are the ones winding up with a ticket.
Once somebody from Atlantis offended Chuck Norris. They are still looking for Atlantis.

When women say NO! to Chuck Norris’ advances, that’s the one situation where you can be sure they actually always mean yes.
Chuck Norris is so manly even his beard has a beard. And that beard has a beard too.

When Chuck Norris loses at Russian roulette, he goes, ‘Again! Again!’

Girls stopped dreaming about knights in shiny armor. They now dream about the shiny fist of Chuck Norris.
Statistically, Chuck Norris is the number 1 reason for sudden deaths in the US.
Chuck Norris doesn't know any limits. But the limits know him.
Chuck Norris taught his father how to be a man.
Somebody claimed that nothing can defeat Chuck Norris.
Since then, no-one’s ever seen nothing.
Chuck Norris fits in all the shoes at the shoe shop.
Nobody pressures Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris never sleeps. Chuck Norris never was, never is and never will be tired.

The sun revolves around Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can find buckets of gold at the ends of rainbows.
Rainbows know better than to disappoint Chuck Norris.
Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for Chuck Norris.

As Chuck Norris was leaving for college, he took his father aside and told him: “Good luck, dad. You’re the man of the family now.”

Chuck Norris shot 57 terrorists with two shots. The first one was a warning shot.

There are, in fact, three sides to The Force. The dark side, the light side, and Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once made an onion cry.
Do you think Godzilla would win over Predator?

I guess we’ll never find out. There’s not much chance Chuck Norris would let his pets fight each other.
Chuck Norris can be naughty without anybody telling Santa.
Chuck Norris doesn’t have an alcohol problem.

But alcohol has a Chuck Norris problem.
Hilarious Chuck Norris Zombie Suggestion

Forget Chuck Norris. Sponge Bob can grill underwater!
Chuck Norris can color a coloring book …. WITH A PENCIL!!!!
The scientists have finally agreed on what the Big Bang really was.
Chuck Norris sneezed.
When Chuck Norris was born, he bit off the umbilical cord himself.
Chuck Norris once had a race with time.

And who won?

Well, time is still running, isn’t it?
See also: Funny Chuck Norris Jokes


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