New Chuck Norris Jokes

 

Fresh Chuck Norris Jokes for the year 2023 / 2024!

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A very long time ago, Chuck Norris gave the Earth a good kick.
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It is still spinning.

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Chuck Norris uses a summer blanket. In the winter!

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When the police stop Chuck Norris, the police are the ones winding up with a ticket.

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Once somebody from Atlantis offended Chuck Norris. They are still looking for Atlantis.

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When women say NO! to Chuck Norris’ advances, that’s the one situation where you can be sure they actually always mean yes.

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Chuck Norris is so manly even his beard has a beard. And that beard has a beard too.

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When Chuck Norris loses at Russian roulette, he goes, ‘Again! Again!’

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Girls stopped dreaming about knights in shiny armor. They now dream about the shiny fist of Chuck Norris.

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Statistically, Chuck Norris is the number 1 reason for sudden deaths in the US.

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Chuck Norris doesn't know any limits. But the limits know him.

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Chuck Norris taught his father how to be a man.

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Somebody claimed that nothing can defeat Chuck Norris.
Since then, no-one’s ever seen nothing.

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Chuck Norris fits in all the shoes at the shoe shop.
Nobody pressures Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris never sleeps. Chuck Norris never was, never is and never will be tired.

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The sun revolves around Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris can find buckets of gold at the ends of rainbows.
Rainbows know better than to disappoint Chuck Norris.

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Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for Chuck Norris.

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As Chuck Norris was leaving for college, he took his father aside and told him: “Good luck, dad. You’re the man of the family now.”

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Chuck Norris shot 57 terrorists with two shots. The first one was a warning shot.

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There are, in fact, three sides to The Force. The dark side, the light side, and Chuck Norris.

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Chuck Norris once made an onion cry.

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Do you think Godzilla would win over Predator?

I guess we’ll never find out. There’s not much chance Chuck Norris would let his pets fight each other.

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Chuck Norris can be naughty without anybody telling Santa.

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Chuck Norris doesn’t have an alcohol problem.

But alcohol has a Chuck Norris problem.

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Forget Chuck Norris. Sponge Bob can grill underwater!

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Chuck Norris can color a coloring book …. WITH A PENCIL!!!!

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The scientists have finally agreed on what the Big Bang really was.
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Chuck Norris sneezed.

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When Chuck Norris was born, he bit off the umbilical cord himself.

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Chuck Norris once had a race with time.

And who won?

Well, time is still running, isn’t it?

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See also: Funny Chuck Norris Jokes

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